Monday, December 21, 2009

The "Virgin" Mary

Don't let the title mislead you. I do believe that Mary was a virgin when she gave birth to Jesus. But I don't think everyone was convinced. I can imagine the conversations that happened when Mary told people about her pregnancy....

Mary: Hey, Joe, can we talk for a minute?
Joseph: Sure, my beautiful, pure, innocent bride-to-be. What about?
M: Oh, boy. Well, you know how babies are usually born after two people have sex?
J: Um, yeah? What are you getting at?
M: Well, um, the craziest thing happened to me. I was visited by an angel and he was all like, "You're gonna have God's Son," and I was all like, "But I'm a virgin," and he was like, "The Holy Spirit's gonna impregnate you, and Elizabeth's pregnant with John the Baptist," and I'm all like, "Let it be." Isn't that crazy that Elizabeth's pregnant at her age?
J: Whoa, hold on, back up a bit. You're pregnant?
M: Yeah, but... the angel... and the Holy Spirit... just read Isaiah 7:14. It explains it somewhat in there.
J: Uh, Mary, I'm not buying this. If you cheated on me, just tell me. I'll understand. I'm a just man and unwilling to see you put to shame. Read Matthew 1:19. It explains it somewhat in there.
M: I'm telling the truth. I am still a virgin, and I'm having Jesus, God's Son.
J: Well if you are, we can't be together anymore.
M: Oh, yes we can. You'll come to your senses. Just wait.

The next morning
J: Hey, Mary, can we talk.
M: Sure my unbelieving husband-to-be. What about?
J: Oh, boy. Well, I had a dream last night, and an angel said, "Take Mary as your wife, 'cuz she's pregnant by the Holy Spirit, and you're gonna call Him Jesus 'cuz he's gonna save people from their sins," and then he quoted Isaiah 7:14. Isn't that crazy that Elizabeth's pregnant at her age?
M: Me:1 You: 0

Now I'm not sure if it went down this way, but you weren't there, so we'll just say that this is legit.

On an unrelated note: Have you ever wondered what would happen if the president rapped about fixing the country? Well, now you know. Enjoy!