Sunday, October 26, 2008

AZ Driver's License Test

So, I've never taken the driving test, so I don't know exactly what the questions and answers are, but I've compiled some questions based on what I've seen from AZ drivers. It's probably illegal to post questions and answers to a test, but oh well. I want to see them take me in.

Correct answers are given in bold

1. When turning right out of a parking lot, you should look in which direction(s)?
a. Left and right, to make sure you are not hitting any cars or pedestrians.
b. Left only. Any pedestrian or biker who might be coming from my right shouldn't be on the sidewalk that I will inevitably have to drive over to get to the road in the first place.

2. When turning, what is an appropriate way to signal?
a. With your blinker
b. Using hand signals
c. Signal? The other drivers should just know that I'm gonna turn.

3. When you have the green light, but there is no room for your car to go, you should:
a. Not attempt to go. You'll be sitting in the intersection and blocking everybody.
b. Go ahead. You have the green light, you should go. You should also honk at someone who deems sitting in the middle of the intersection a risk he's not willing to take.

4. Where do bikers belong?
a. In the bike lane. That's why it's called a bike lane.
b. On the road when there is no bike lane.
c. I don't care, as long as they're nowhere near me. I'll honk at them, tell them to drive on the sidewalk. It's not like you can get a ticket for that or anything.

5. Cell phones should be...
a. used as little as possible while driving.
b. used only in case of an emergency.
c. in your hand at all times. Chat it up. Text all the time. There's no need to watch the road. That's everyone else's responsibility.

6. When you are in a rush, what should you do to make sure you get where you need to be on time?
a. Speed. Those speed limits are too slow anyway.
b. Hurry out of a parking lot. It takes too much time to pay attention to any oncoming pedestrians/bikers/cars.
c. Occupy multiple lanes at once. This keeps others away from you.
d. Take advantage of others pulling over because of fire or ambulance sirens. Those people are such suckers.
e. All of the above.

7.ESSAY QUESTION: Write about why you hate J-Ra and want him to die.

I haven't figured out a rubric for the essay question, but I'm pretty sure that this is how the test goes. If you've taken the test, please tell me about the accuracy/inaccuracy of this test.

P.S. I saw a car driving north on Mill the other day. There was a red light, but a green turn arrow to head west on Broadway. The car that was driving north got into the turn lane, and instead of turning, drives into the intersection and gets back into the lane that he was in and continues north on Mill. This is why Arizona drivers suck.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Spare the Spoil. Rod the Child

I'm at a point in my life where people are asking me the same question, the one question to which I do not know the answer: "what are you doing after you graduate?" Believe me, if I knew, I'd answer. I think I'd tell people out of sheer excitement that I actually know what it is I'm doing. But, alas, God doesn't work on Jason's time, so I'm still waiting for Him to reveal what it is He wants me to do.

About a year ago, I would have told you that I was either going into full-time ministry with the Navigators or teaching. Now, I'm not too sure about either. I've found that that's what happens when you make plans and exclude God in your planning. I've been turned off to both now. I'm just not sure if ministry is where God wants me and I'm absolutely sure that the classroom is not where I want to be.

On Wednesday, I took the bus to the movie theater. I got on across the street from Tempe High School, around 3pm. I hadn't been on a bus with so many high school kids since high school. It was terrible. They were loud, obnoxious, self-centered. One girl saw my little cigars and asked to buy one from me, and I said no. She then asked if they were already rolled, which is a stupid question, because that's how they come when you buy them. She then asked what it was, and that's when I realized that she didn't want tobacco. I was happy to get off that bus.

Fast-forward to yesterday, when I was catching a bus in front of Tempe High, where the basketball team was having a car wash. These fools (which is exactly what they were) would walk into the street with there signs, talking to people in their cars, almost trying to guilt them into getting their cars washed. It's a really fantastic way to get hit by a moving vehicle for a potential $5. One kid goes up to a car and says, "Hey, sexy mama." I was very close to giving that kid a lesson in respect. However, I wanted my lesson to be something to the effect of beating the hell out of him, so I decided to just sit at the bus stop instead.

Being around high school kids makes me wish it was once again socially acceptable to rod--erm, discipline--other people's kids. They have no respect for authority, or for anyone at all. I don't think the whole "Spare the rod, spoil the child" mentality is working. We need to go back to biblical times, and take what Solomon said in Proverbs 13:24 to heart:

Whoever spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.