Tonight

Did I ever tell you about my dream job working at a gourmet restaurant? Oh, I didn't, eh? Well, let me tell you...

My story starts out quite some time ago. I had gotten hired to prepare desserts at the Nicaraguan Barbecue Cafe after the previous guy went to another restaurant (I think it was called the Cajun Bird Station). I was the dessert chef for quite some time. I always had my eye on the main course, though. I knew people didn't go to the restaurant for the dessert, as good as it was. I almost started considering going to other restaurants, until...

I was offered the job as head cook! I was uber excited. I had dreamed of it since I was a kid, always admiring the craft. It would be quite some time before I would take up the position, but I was promised that it would be mine. I waited for what must have been five years. I was so excited when I got the position! You have no idea. I was a little upset because the restaurant decided to hire the old head cook to prepare the appetizers, a move that many were skeptical about and would still have my creations following the previous chef's, but whatever. I had the job I wanted. So, there was a new line up. The old guy on first with the appetizers, I'd swoop in afterward with the main course, and then we hired this guy who once worked for the Siberian Noodle Lounge to take my place on desserts.

Well, this immediately didn't go too well. The appetizers turned out to be a very bad idea, and many people were so dissatisfied with it that they didn't stick around for the main course or desserts. The restaurant knew that it wasn't working with the old guy doing appetizers. Everybody suggested that he just put up his hat, that he'd worked there long enough and had his day. He had enough money to live off of, so he didn't need the work. The restaurant was fine all those years without appetizers anyway. I thought that this would be the logical plan of action.

However, the Nicaraguan Barbecue Cafe had different plans. They wanted to give the old guy his position back. I was flabbergasted! He was the one who drove off the clientele with his appetizers, and they were gonna kick me back to dessert?! Where's the logic in that? Many voiced their opinions that this was an even worse idea than the appetizers debacle. People from the Cajun Bird Station, as well as from another rival restaurant, the Asian Bowl Company, spoke out in my defense, and the people loved me. But the company had made their decision. After only 7 short months, the job was his again. I didn't think it'd be fair to bump the new guy without giving him a chance. So I decided I'd be the bigger man and just quit. As much as it hurt me, I knew it was the right thing to do for the restaurant. Who knows? Maybe you'll eventually see me at the French-Oriental Xanadu (I'm not sure why they named it that, but I suppose that's not too important).

So, that's my completely true and non-allegorical story of my tenure at a restaurant. It was my dream job and it was taken away from me by the guy who had already lived the dream but didn't want to give it up. But it's OK, they gave me a good severance package, and I'm a classy guy, so I took it like a champ and don't wish any ill will towards Jay--er, I mean the old guy.

And now, I leave you with a song that I feel is appropriate as a memorial to the short 7 months that I had at this job.