Monday, November 30, 2009

The (Near) Thanksgiving Day Massacre

I lost my camera on Thanksgiving Day. There was a good chunk of time when there was a search party, because I wasn’t about to leave California without my $200 camera. There were three different ways that people saw this apparently.

My Point of View
There were a bunch of kids around who weren’t really helping me look. My nephew Warren was looking in the freezer, while my niece Anaiya suggested, “Maybe it’s in the cake.” I figured that they were just going to be in the way, so I told them to sit down and be quiet. One of them said they were cold, so they put the blanket over themselves. I was being nice while looking for my camera.

The Kids’ Point of View

I didn’t verify any of this, but I’m pretty sure that this is what they were all collectively thinking: “Man, he’s serious. He’s making us sit down, all in a row. Maybe we can chat it up while he looks? Oh, no, he has his belt. Did he say something about a rod? I don’t know what that it is, but he sounds serious. I guess we can’t talk. He’s got that wild look in his eyes. I think he might just kill one of us. Let’s not say anything. He’s being mean while looking for his camera.”

The Other Adults’ Point of View
“Oh, my goodness, look at him. He has all the kids lined up, oldest to youngest, on the couch. They’re not saying anything. They were talking, but they shut up real quick when he got that belt. Did you hear him? He said, ‘The Bible says to use a rod.’ He’s going to start torturing them. Just wait. He’s gonna throw a bucket of cold water on them, get in their face, and ask, ‘Where’s the camera?’ He’s going to get information from them one way or another. There’s no mercy. Chrissie’s only four. What’s she gonna tell him? Oh, snap. We need to look harder or else we’re next. We’re not going to escape. His mom’s the only one safe. The rest of us might not survive Thanksgiving. He’s gone crazy while looking for his camera.”

I still say I was being nice. Everyone else blew it out of proportion. Anyway, we all laughed at it after my camera did appear again. And nothing of mine disappeared for the remainder of the trip. And for some reason unbeknownst to me, everyone asked permission before doing anything, even getting a cup of water. I can’t understand why. I guess I’m just a man who demands respect.

Give me respect... or else

And now, for the completely unrelated video of the week, I give you Si! Enjoy.

Guacamole from Si on Vimeo.