Monday, May 31, 2010

No More LOST...

So, last week, one of the greatest TV shows in the history of television ended, leaving some happy, some angry, and some utterly confused. I am sad, feeling like I've lost a friend; a friend who I only saw on a weekly basis, and only online, but a friend nonetheless.

I know that it's done and we won't see any crappy spinoffs, but I feel like it left the possibility open. So I'm going to present to you the spinoff series and movies that will never be, but could be. (None of this will make sense if you haven't seen the show, so if you haven't, stop reading now and watch it. All of it. Right now.)

Ben & Hugo
Starring: Jorge Garcia and Michael Emerson
This sitcom starts right after Jack dies and Lapidus and the crew fly off. It's the tale of the obese yet lovable Hugo "Hurley" Reyes taking over the island as the new Jacob, living with his often insufferable #2, Benjamin Linus. There will be guest appearances by Rose and Bernard (L. Scott Caldwell and Sam Anderson) and a couple "Very Special Episodes" where Hugo and Ben deal with loss. It will be touching. You will cry.

Ji Yeon
Starring: Henry Ian Cusick, Sonya Walger, and some little Korean girl
This made for TV movie will tell the tale of Ji Yeon Kwon, Sun and Jin's daughter who has to grow up not knowing who her parents are because they died in the submarine. Desmond and Penny Hume will raise her, sheltering her from her parents' troubled past, but she will have dreams, remembering the short time that she had with her mother before Sun returned to the island. Yunjin Kim will reprise her role as Sun for a dream sequence. If it does well, they'll try to get Daniel Dae Kim for the sequel, but let's not count those chickens before they hatch.

You All Everybody
This rockumentary will tell of the rise and fall of Drive Shaft, delving into the bandmates' drug and sex habits and trying to regroup after the death of their bassist, Charlie Pace, on Oceanic 815 (or so they thought...).

My Two Moms
Alternate Title: Raised by Another
Starring: Evangeline Lilly and Emily de Ravin
After they arrive back in the States, Kate has a hard time letting go of Aaron, though she went back to the island with the express purpose of bringing Claire back. The solution is that they raise him together. This show, dealing with the hardships of two women raising a son together and fighting over the title of "favorite mom" will eventually be syndicated on Lifetime.

The Extra Miles
Starring: Ken Leung and Josh Holloway
I know they were only cops in the flash sideways/purgatory thing, but there's gotta be a cop show somewhere in there, where Miles solves murders by talking to the dead, only letting his partner, Officer James Ford, know of his ability. Michelle Rodriguez will be a series regular as Ana Lucia until special guest star Harold Perrineau shoots and kills her, due to negative audience response.

I Love You, Too
Starring: Naveen Andrews, Maggie Grace, and Andrea Gabriel
There's trouble in the afterlife when Nadia, Sayid's former lover, dies and finds him snogging Shannon. This movie will show how Sayid deals with having a girlfriend on-island and one off-island, and what happens when they meet.

Alas, none of these will ever take place, but you know it will be awesome if it did. You would watch all of them. Don't lie. You know you would.