Sunday, August 23, 2009

I'm VERY disappointed

Imagine biting into what someone tells you is an In-N-Out Double Double only to discover that it's from Burger King.
Or finding out that Edward Norton had to drop out of a movie and they replaced him with David Spade.
Or flipping on the TV to watch Arrested Development, and 2 and a Half Men is showing in it's stead.

Those would all be horribly disappointing moments, much like the one that I had the other morning. I was doing something outside, and I hear this man yell three names, telling the owners of said names to vamoose. Jason was one of those names, but apparently he was talking to a different Jason, because I didn't want me to leave.

He wanted me to act. He asked me if I could be in Die Hard 5 as a character named Archie Arnold. I gladly accepted, pulled a comb from out of my pocket, and got ready for my big screen debut. Instead of the script, the gave me my lines on small strips of paper, which were numbered, I'm assuming in the order in which I say said lines. The problem is, they were out of order.

Being me, as I try to arrange my lines in numerical order, I drop them on the couch that I was sitting on. I search along the cushions of the couch and feel for those lines, the lines that will make me a star.

As I'm searching, I see the fan blowing on me, and the pillows on my futon. I was now awake. I was searching on my futon for lines that were not there for a movie that I was not in. I very quickly came to realize that I would not be doing an action movie starring Bruce Willis as the unstoppable John McClane. I was in my apartment, alone, on my futon.

That realization hurt me like you can't even imagine.