Sunday, October 26, 2008

AZ Driver's License Test

So, I've never taken the driving test, so I don't know exactly what the questions and answers are, but I've compiled some questions based on what I've seen from AZ drivers. It's probably illegal to post questions and answers to a test, but oh well. I want to see them take me in.

Correct answers are given in bold

1. When turning right out of a parking lot, you should look in which direction(s)?
a. Left and right, to make sure you are not hitting any cars or pedestrians.
b. Left only. Any pedestrian or biker who might be coming from my right shouldn't be on the sidewalk that I will inevitably have to drive over to get to the road in the first place.

2. When turning, what is an appropriate way to signal?
a. With your blinker
b. Using hand signals
c. Signal? The other drivers should just know that I'm gonna turn.

3. When you have the green light, but there is no room for your car to go, you should:
a. Not attempt to go. You'll be sitting in the intersection and blocking everybody.
b. Go ahead. You have the green light, you should go. You should also honk at someone who deems sitting in the middle of the intersection a risk he's not willing to take.

4. Where do bikers belong?
a. In the bike lane. That's why it's called a bike lane.
b. On the road when there is no bike lane.
c. I don't care, as long as they're nowhere near me. I'll honk at them, tell them to drive on the sidewalk. It's not like you can get a ticket for that or anything.

5. Cell phones should be...
a. used as little as possible while driving.
b. used only in case of an emergency.
c. in your hand at all times. Chat it up. Text all the time. There's no need to watch the road. That's everyone else's responsibility.

6. When you are in a rush, what should you do to make sure you get where you need to be on time?
a. Speed. Those speed limits are too slow anyway.
b. Hurry out of a parking lot. It takes too much time to pay attention to any oncoming pedestrians/bikers/cars.
c. Occupy multiple lanes at once. This keeps others away from you.
d. Take advantage of others pulling over because of fire or ambulance sirens. Those people are such suckers.
e. All of the above.

7.ESSAY QUESTION: Write about why you hate J-Ra and want him to die.

I haven't figured out a rubric for the essay question, but I'm pretty sure that this is how the test goes. If you've taken the test, please tell me about the accuracy/inaccuracy of this test.

P.S. I saw a car driving north on Mill the other day. There was a red light, but a green turn arrow to head west on Broadway. The car that was driving north got into the turn lane, and instead of turning, drives into the intersection and gets back into the lane that he was in and continues north on Mill. This is why Arizona drivers suck.


Anonymous said...


Zombie Brains said...

I didn't take the AZ driving test either, but this sounds very accurate

Susan said...

I think that AZ driver's licenses are given to people in one of the two following ways:

Scenario A:
*A young chap walks into the Driver's License place*
"Hello, kind fellows!" He says "I just turned 16 today, and I would like a driver's license, please!"
*The woman at the counter glances at him*
"Well, you don't look like you're 15, and we're too lazy to actually test your here, have a license."
*She throws him a license and goes back to reading a trashy romance novel and smacking her gum*

Scenario B:
There are driver's license vending machines all over town. All you need is a dollar! No experience necessary!

D: Oh, it makes me want to cry...

Helen said...

Hi! I saw your comment on SCL and I wanted to say I agree with you! God could have done it in seven days, He is God afterall, or He could have been speaking metaphorically, why not, but so what? It does not affect salvation, so it is not worth having passionate arguments with fellow believers (or even nonbelievers) for that matter.
I'm from IL, not AZ, but I have seen a lot of the same here in Chicago. Maybe the same publishing company writes our tests for our DMVs...