Monday, September 15, 2008

Milk? Meat? A diaper?

Warning: This post is kinda gross. You might not want to read this if you gross-out easily.

So, I've known for quite some time that ASU doesn't have the smartest students. My first hint: peer editing in English 102. One of my classmates, bless his heart, introduced his paper arguing for euthanasia with, "There are plenty of retarded of laws." It was then that I realized that my school will accept anyone with an income.

Another tell-tale sign that ASU kids aren't the brightest tools in the crayon box: toilets. I don't often go into the women's restrooms, so I can't say how they do, but I know that ASU men do not know how to properly use a toilet. When I lived on campus, a constant ritual would be to entire a bathroom stall with 2 paper towels, one wet, one dry. I had to do this to ensure that I wasn't sitting on the "present" left by the last person. I wanted to post a fake syllabus for the fake class, Not Pissing on the Toilet Seat 101. Week 1, lift seat. Week 2, aim. Week 3, final.

And it's not just in the dorms. I just moved from the Computing Commons to Hayden Library, because I had to use the restroom and, lo and behold,... well, I'm sure you can guess why.

I don't understand how people who graduated from high school don't know how to use the bathroom properly. If you've been out of diapers for at least 15 years, you'd think you'd learn some things.

I thought about drawing some spiritual analogy to Christians forgetting the basics of Christianity. And, while it seems I just did, I'm not going to go any farther than putting a link to the verse. Although, if the author of Hebrews had used a diaper-toilet illustration instead of a milk-meat illustration, I think it would have worked out fine.


Randall said...

"week 3 : final"

How do you grade that, do you watch?

J-Ra said...

Judge based on the cleanliness of the seat. For a perfect grade, the toilet seat would be up, because men don't have to put it down. There's leniency for splashage, because Professor P. N. Toilet understands that it happens.