Letter from Zacchaeus

Dear Jason,

This is your car, Zacchaeus. I just wanted to write to you because of something that I think is cause for concern. Usually, I stay relatively silent (except, of course, for that sound I constantly make whenever you drive me), but I had to speak up.

Now, before I start, I want you to know that I like you. I really enjoy that you drive me, that you're concerned whenever I bottom out, and even that you call me by name. I really do enjoy all that. I'm glad I can be blessing to you by taking you wherever you need to go.

Yes, Thursday was not my best day. My left arm (I believe you called it my "front tire" or something like that) deflated. I needed a new one. Yeah, you were upset, but at the same time concerned. It's good to want to take care of things. It's called being a good steward. But I think there's a fine line between stewardship and idol worship.

Whoa, that's right, I went there! See, I remember when you first got me. You wouldn't listen to the radio because you were always talking to God. You would start yelling at other drivers and then stop yourself and pray for them. You would praise, you would confess, you would talk to God about stuff I didn't want to know. But it was good. You thanked God for your salvation, for your job, for me.

What happened? Now you just yell at other drivers while you listen to your radio. You talk to me more than you talk to God. I mean, I'm awesome. But I'm a car. I was made in a factory. The God of heaven and earth knit you in your mother's womb. You were woven by Him. He made you and knows you deeply. And you have a chance to talk to Him. And yet you choose to talk to me instead? You get what I say about idolatry?

I feel like my left arm got deflated because you weren't paying attention to God, and you know how jealous He is. He wants the glory. He deserves the glory. I was the blessing. He's the Fount of every blessing. So he took me away temporarily. But was that enough for you to turn to Him?

No, it wasn't. So He flattened my replacement arm. The next night. And you called Josiah to come pick you up, but he didn't answer. It was only then, when you were forced to walk about a half mile alone, that you talked to God. That's whack, man. Why did it take Him flattening my arm twice to get you to worship Him? Seriously, Jason, what made you stop relying on God and start relying on yourself? You've done it before. Plenty of times. And it never turns out well. If you're trying to live your life, go to the one who created it.

Honestly, Jason, I'm glad that you're driving me again and that you've turned the radio off. It's not bad to sing, but your priorities were out of whack. I'm glad to see they're turning back in the right direction. Please keep it up. I'll be really pissed if something more traumatic than a flattened arm has to happen to me for you to recognize God.

Sincerely,
Zacchaeus, the Wee Little Car

Here I Am to Worship

It's been far too long since I've posted. I apologize. I'm making a new (school) year's resolution to get on this more.

Anyway, I was talking with my homeboy Richdawg the other day. He and I were talking about worship at our Nav Nites and what it's gonna look like. I won't go into too much detail about what we talked about because if I told you, I'd have to kill you (and you don't wanna get killed, do you?), but we did talk about some songs that we like and some songs that we don't. Actually, moreso the latter than the former. We wanted to make a list of worship songs that we weren't going to be doing this year, whether we dislike the simplicity of the song, the incoherency, the cheesiness, or the theological implications. For example...

Come, Now is the Time to Worship
This is my all time least favorite worship song ever. I've heard someone remark that it sounds Universalist ("One day every tongue will confess You are God, one day every knee will bow"). That's definitely true if you're not familiar with Philippians 2, but I'm willing to overlook that since it's based on Scripture. My beef is the implications of what I'm singing. Essentially, I'm saying, "Yes, Jesus, every person living and dead will one day acknowledge your deity, but for those who recognize it this side of the grave are gonna have partay while those who wait too long are gonna suffer in hell. Sucks to be y'all!" At least that's how I feel when I sing it. I feel like "Still the greatest treasure remains for those who gladly choose You now" is the lyrical equivalent of spitting in the face of the lost.

Mighty to Save
I don't really dislike this song all that much, but there are a few things that are nigh unforgivable about it. For one, the verses don't rhyme. That's not the biggest deal, I know, but I feel like writing something that doesn't rhyme is kinda lazy. And it wouldn't bother me nearly as much if the song was coherent. You would think that "Mighty to Save" is about how God saves us throughout the song. But you don't really get that. The first part of the first verse talks about our need for compassion, love, and mercy. The second part does talk about our need for forgiveness, but "the hope of nations" doesn't really fit in right there. The second verse isn't much better. It talks about Him taking us as we are and then how we will surrender everything to follow Him. Even looking at the chorus, I feel like we're talking about how God is mighty, not mighty to save. Don't get me wrong. I like all the stuff that the song talks about. But it's not one coherent thought. It's all over the place. And if you're gonna be all over the place, at least rhyme.

Revelation Song
Richdawg and I actually agree that this is a really good song. We both like it a lot, except one line: "Clothed in rainbows of living color." What? Someone in a forum wrote that they imagine a unicorn prancing across the stage when we sing that line. There's a chance that we'll do this one at Nav Nite, but that line will be modified, like with what Crowder did with the "sloppy wet kiss" part of an otherwise good song.

Do you have a song I should add to the list? Or do you maybe have a reason for why one of these songs shouldn't be on the list? Let's discuss. What are your thoughts?