Inside my Oversized Head

Carry Your Cross

2011-09-20T10:36:00.000-07:00

I was reading in Luke 23 this morning and noticed something I'd never noticed before: Jesus was indeed guilty of the charge that was brought against him.

But Jason, what you say is blasphemous. How could you--

Whoa, calm down. Let me finish. I read that it was customary for the accused (or I guess at this point, the damned) to have their charge displayed above them as they were crucified. The inscription above Jesus read, "This is the King of the Jews." To that charge, there was no dispute. He was indeed the King of the Jews. But that's hardly (read: not at all) punishable by death. So, thinking about that, I compiled a list of people that should have been on that cross instead.

Pilate, who 3 times declared Jesus' innocence
Herod, who also found no guilt in Jesus, though he mocked him anyway
All in the Sanhedrin
Caesar
Barabbas, who actually was convicted of crimes punishable by death
Simon of Cyrene, who actually carried Jesus' cross
The women who mourned over Jesus as he walked to his death
The soldiers who mocked him
The centurion, who noted that Jesus "certainly... was innocent"
The crowd, who left beating their breasts as a sign of grief
Jesus' acquaintances, who watched from afar
Joseph of Arimathea, who took Jesus from the cross and buried him
Jason Allen Jefferson

It's amazing that Jesus not only prayed for the forgiveness of those on the list, but carried out the gruesome, painful, humiliating act that would make that forgiveness possible. As he carried his cross, I remember his words for us to do the same. And that seems like a small thing when you consider that he not only carried his cross, but his cross carried him, for three dark hours, while he shed his innocent blood on our behalf.

Heck no, I won't go!

2011-08-11T00:02:00.000-07:00

A friend at church on Sunday said that he wasn't going to do EDGE Corps, which I took to mean that he would eventually do EDGE Corps. I only came to that conclusion because I made that same vow, as did many who were in my EDGE class. I have a general rule that I don't tell God I won't do something, because then He'll make me do it.

The rule's kind of a joke, but at the same time, kind of true. EDGE is one example. My (hopeful) post-EDGE career choice is another.

I once vowed not to ever work with junior high kids. It's just an awkward age and they're learning how to be complete jerks (if not learning, at least perfecting the art). Let's be honest, if we put junior highers in a locked room for a couple years, people wouldn't mind too much.

But right now, I'm applying to be a substitute teacher. I'm open to whatever grade will take me, but I'm hoping for junior and senior high jobs.

That's the weird thing about the way God works sometimes. Yeah, I have that rule to protect me from God calling me to something I don't want to do, but He hasn't. Yes, I did EDGE. Yes, I'm applying to work with junior highers. Yes, I already did work with junior highers this summer.

And I loved it.

It's a silly thing to try to protect yourself from God. He didn't spring me onto something I didn't want to do. He changed my heart. He gave me a heart for college guys. He gave me a heart for those boys in Sacramento. He gave me a heart to teach teenagers that are awkward and going through a lot of weird bodily changes and who probably smell funny.

I need to stop fearing that God will put me into something I'm not gonna want to do. If anything, I should just open up to the possibilities that God has for me, whether there possibilities I want right now or not. It's been good for me so far. Although I'm still waiting for the results of my vow never to be rich.

My (Bad) Luck with Phones

2011-05-19T15:05:00.000-07:00

I couldn't tell you what my first phone was, because I don't remember. I know I got it my second semester of college, and couldn't pay for it come summer after my freshman year (I'm so responsible).

After that, it was hell trying to get in contact with me. That is, until I discovered Net10! I could talk for only 10 cents a minute, and texts were only worth half a minute! I had some less than awesome crap phone (I think it was Nokia or something). Anyway, after having that for a while, I gave up on it for several reasons:

The phone was crap.
10 cents per minute and 5 cents per text (sent or received) is not a good deal.
Several times, I would end a call, but the seconds would keep ticking. I pressed end several times, to no avail.
I hated talking on the phone. I was keeping constant tabs of how much time I was talking. It was annoying.

So I went with Verizon. Yay! I like Verizon. I got my minutes that I rarely use, but get unlimited texts. This way, when my mom texts "k," I don't have to freak out that I'm wasting valuable minutes.

I'd tell you what that first phone was, but I lost it a while back on the Greyhound. That sucked.

My second phone with Verizon (4th overall) was a Samsung Smooth. This baby cost me the least amount of money when I went to replace my lost cell phone. But I obviously have no phone loyalty, so...

I bought the LG env3 off of a friend. This one was truly awful. It would turn itself off for no reason at all. One time I was donating plasma (a nice little hobby of mine) and overheard other people talking about their phones and how much they sucked because they always turned off. I looked over and, lo and behold, they had this piece of crap phone. Not to mention I had to have a stupid data plan, which I almost never used. It was truly a waste of $10 a month. I actually marked on my calendar when I would get a free upgrade (and I don't do well with calendars; they're much too organized for me).

So I was happy when that date came and I got my Samsung Intensity II in Metallic Blue (say that 3 times fast). This one caused me problems from the git go. The first one I had had a faulty screen that broke the next day, though I did nothing to break it.

They replaced that one graciously with Samsung Intensity II in Metallic Blue #2. That one lasted a week before it started screwing up all of my contacts, saving some multiple times and refusing to save others. Plus the backlight wouldn't turn off, which drained my battery quick. That was obviously not my fault, so they gave me #3.

#3 lasted a while. I was pleased. I dropped it several times (a week) and the screen stayed in one piece. The backlight only refused to turn off once, but it walked it off and was fine after that. It was just a bit of humidity.

Hey, speaking of water, you know what happens when you drop a Samsung Intensity II in Metallic Blue in the toilet? It turns off and doesn't turn on again. Even after 2 days of sitting in rice and a couple hours in my car in the Arizona heat. Yeah, it's donezo.

So what phone am I using now? Well, I had to resort back to my Samsung Smooth. And it's doing me well. I'm not gonna lie. I miss the QWERTY keyboard and, you know, all those numbers I'd saved that were lost. But hey, I have a nice, working phone now.

That is, until my next inevitable cell phone disaster.

Nobody's Savior

2011-03-30T16:42:00.000-07:00

The following prayer is based on a true story.

"Dear God, I need you to help this person. He's going in a direction that I don't really like. Maybe it's Your will, but I don't see how. I don't know what's going on inside him. What he's thinking. Lord, it's killing me. I don't know what to do.

"Well, there's nothing I can do. I guess there's nothing that I should do. I'm nobody's savior. I'm Jason. I guess I need to just give it to You.

"Lord, forgive me for my pride and thinking that I could change somebody. I only-

"Wait! What are You doing? I wanted to pray for this guy. I didn't wanna pray for myself! He needs the help, not me. Okay, okay, I need help, too. But this isn't about my pride or my savior complex. This is about him.

"Alright, God, I surrender. I've been prideful. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a...."

My Current Reading

2011-02-07T13:49:00.000-07:00

I made a New Year's resolution in 2010 to read more. Yes, that was 2010. I guess I kinda read some, but really, since going to college, I lost interest in reading.

But I've picked it back up. I've started reading a whole lot more than what I'm used to. And it's kinda been awesome. Here's a bit of what I've been reading.

Ashamed of the Gospel--I picked this up at our most recent EDGE Summit in the Glen Eyrie bookstore. I enjoy it for the most part, although it's not what I was expecting. I thought that it would be on a more individual basis, but MacArthur's focus is mainly on churches shying away from preaching the unadulterated Word of God in the hopes of being seeker friendly. I think he makes a lot of oversimplifications to be honest, and makes the same point over and over and over again, but he does make good points that can be applicable to individuals desiring to preach the gospel as well as those of us on staff who aren't necessarily a church, but are in Christian leadership.

Redeeming Love--I went to a staff conference and one of my EDGEmates was talking about this book and how amazing it was and how men need to read it. I thought, "Why not?" So I checked it out from the Tempe Library. I must say, it's a much easier read than John MacArthur's book (though I think that's gonna be the case with fiction vs. non-fiction 98% of the time). Francine Rivers does a great job of writing characters that I care about. My previous attempt at reading a novel was Twilight, and I can't for the life of me understand why I should care about stupid Bella going gaga over this beautiful and extremely rude boy that she comes to learn is a vampire. However, within the first couple pages of "Redeeming Love," I found myself teary-eyed over what I was seeing happen in Sarah/Angel's life. I find it hard to put down at night, even when I'm dog-tired.

Jeremiah--After reading through Acts (and taking an EXTREMELY long time to do that), I decided that I wanted to go through a book in the Old Testament, mostly because I haven't quite yet read through the OT, while I've read through the entire NT at least twice. I can't remember why I chose Jeremiah over something else, but I'm truly digging it. Well, I don't know if I'd say digging. It's really sad. I'm only in chapter 3, but the hurt that I see in God's words, the strong language, the unfaithfulness of Israel and Judah are enough to make a grown man cry (granted, that grown man is me and doesn't take much for me to cry sometimes). Throughout chapter 2 and the beginning of chapter 3, God is telling of how they've turned from Him time and time again, and would only turn to Him when they were up the creek without a paddle. I want to be able to point a finger at them and say, "I can't believe you would do that. I can't believe you would turn to God only when you need Him and never at any other time. You want Him to be your Savior without Him being your Lord." But it's like they say, whenever you point a finger, you have 3 pointing at yourself. I know that I'm no better than the Israelites. I can run and do my own thing for a while, realize that it's not working, turn to God, rinse, repeat. Reading God's words delivered by Jeremiah, I think I have a better understanding of the fear of the Lord. He knew their hearts weren't towards Him. They wanted forgiveness for being unfaithful, but were all too willing to remain unfaithful. I've truly been convicted and blessed from reading this one so far.

What are you reading? Or watching? Or listening to?

Like an Annoying Neighbor

2011-01-24T15:31:00.000-07:00

I think I’ve turned into a commercial snob. It probably comes from living with Robbie and Mark Buss, because the Buss family always mutes commercials. Now that commercials aren’t muted, I can’t stand most of them. I’m always over critical of them. It’s like I’m unintentionally looking for them to say something stupid or make an outrageous claim that they can’t come close to fulfilling. Some commercials make it easier than others.
For example, the State Farm commercials. I’m not talking about the ones where people sing their theme song and an agent pops up or their spouse is instantly hotter (although I could). I’m talking about the ones with the the third runner up for the Tom Cruise look-alike contest. Like this one:

It is nice to know you can trust people. Except, I don’t think we can trust people. It’s easy to set it up to seem like you can trust people. I’ll trust someone to give me back my correct change if the script calls for it. But when there is no script, people don’t always get their change back. When there is no script, your co-worker who you let live with you out of the goodness of your heart will steal $300 in video games from you. When there is no script, the kid working at Sonic will give you back change for $10 when you gave him a $20. When there is no script, Arizona will lead the nation in identity theft. I can write a book about a black family living in North Dakota and then claim that there are plenty of black people in North Dakota, but that won’t prove anything. Using fiction to state fact does not prove your point well.

And don’t forget this one:

This one bothers me to no end. This time, they didn’t even manipulate the situation to make their point like they should have. I get that they were at a place that can hold a lot of people, just like their insurance agency. But they really didn’t think that one through. How can you stand inside of a baseball stadium after having bought concessions and claim that saving money is an American pastime? I’ve sold candy at a baseball stadium. I know that the price that they charge for snacks is outrageous. It’s like going to Westboro Baptist Church and claiming that tolerance is the American way. It just doesn’t add up.

When I buy Zacchaeus and have to pay for insurance, I don’t want to go to State Farm. I don’t care that they have more clients than Geico and Progressive combined. Especially if all those clients think it’s reasonable to buy a hot dog for $17. Give me the gecko. Give me the assassinated president from 24. Give me Flo (I’m kidding; I want to kick her in the throat). You can keep your second to last samurai.

Now excuse me while I write a book about a North Dakotan black family.

Ashamed of the Gospel

2010-12-21T17:32:00.000-07:00

I just came back the other day from Colorado Springs for my fourth EDGE summit. It was by far my favorite one for reasons I may or may not elaborate on further in the future.

One of the things that I brought back from summit was actually something I brought to the summit. We had to do a Bible study before we arrived, and it was on our calling to ministry. The first questions asked about verses that God used to call us. I’ve written about how God really put Isaiah 6:1-8 on my heart before on here, and this was of course one of the verses I’ve used. So, I went back read it. I decided to look at the whole chapter instead of just the first 8 verses (which is only an additional 5 verses). I was struck by the difference between myself and the person whose calling I kinda jackmoved.

After God asks who will go out for Him and Isaiah volunteers, God tells Isaiah the message he’s going to be giving. Verses 9 and 10 make it seem really hopeless. Blinding eyes, deafening ears, and dulling hearts is not a really good message. But Isaiah doesn’t say, “Gee, God, um, that’s not a really good message to be giving people. Maybe You wanna give them a more hopeful message.” No, that’s not what he said. His response? “How long, O Lord?”

Really Isaiah? “How long?” You hear what you have to tell people, and you ask God how long you should do it? No hesitation? I have a more hopeful message than that, and I’m hesitant to share it. I tell people that they can meet their maker, but not in a bad way. I tell people that God came down to earth to build a bridge between God and man. I tell people that they can live eternally with God, who cares for and loves them deeply. I tell people that there’s hope, love, grace, and peace. And yet, I don’t want to go up and tell people about that. That’s uncomfortable. That’s unnatural. That’s not what I wanna do. My natural response isn’t “how long?” It’s more, “Do I have to?”

This was on my mind a lot at the summit and still is. It got me asking a lot of “why” questions. Why am I ashamed of the gospel? I look at Romans 1:16, and it doesn’t make sense. Why should anyone be ashamed of the gospel? What’s there to be ashamed of? What aspect of the gospel is shame-worthy? People are ashamed of their pasts, of the things they’ve done, of the things they regret. I don’t understand why we are ashamed of the gospel.

Yet we are, and I include myself in that. I don’t quite get it. There are other things that I share with others so willingly, but the gospel? Uh, maybe later. That thing that gives life, that sets the captives free, that brings man to the relationship with God that he should have had from the beginning--yeah, that I’ll keep to myself.

Every summit, I buy a book that I fully intend to read but never do, and this summit was not an exception. While in the very popular Glen Eyrie bookstore, a John MacArthur book caught my eye. It’s called Ashamed of the Gospel. I bought it because I think it describes a current trend in the Church and in my life. I don’t want that to be true, but it is. I pray that this will stop being true. I want to love Jesus more than I love being comfortable. I want to be able to speak the words in Romans 1:16 with the confidence that I see in Paul. I don’t want Jesus to be ashamed of me because I was ashamed of Him.

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. -Romans 1:16

Real quick prayer request

2010-12-07T14:36:00.000-07:00

I have an outreach thing going on tonight. Click here to see how you can be praying for it. Thanks.

Black is as black does

2010-10-06T18:57:00.000-07:00

I'm a firm believer that very few good things happen after midnight (or 2:30 if you're on college student time). Here's a story supporting that.

Some time in the last week or two, I got off work at 3:00am. I wasn't too thrilled with this. But, whatareyougonnado, right? I'd gone on break early that night and was kinda hungry when I got off. I wrestled with whether I should just go straight home or stop by the local Fry's Food & Drug, which is conveniently open 24 hours a day. I went for the latter. I didn't want anything too big. Just a thing of cottage cheese (which is probably one of my favorite dairy products ever created).

So, I drive slightly out of my way to go to Fry's. I hop out of my car, and hear people in a nearby truck calling out to me. Remember, it's past 3 in the morning at this point, so while normally if this were to happen, I would do what you're supposed to do whenever "Stranger Danger" approaches (stop, drop, and roll, right?), I instead approached to see what these gentlemen wanted.

I never got their names, so I'll call them Anton and Tyrone. Anton, in the passenger seat, told me that he and Tyrone, the driver, were well overage to be purchasing alcohol, but Fry's for some reason would not accept their out-of-state licenses. Now, this store is about a mile and a half south of a campus that attracts many out-of-state students, so for them not to accept licenses from said students makes about as much sense as a vegan making honey barbecue chicken for dinner with a side of cheesy eggs and a glass of warm deer blood. I told them that I didn't think that that made sense, and they agreed. Anton then asked if I could be a dear and purchase said alcohol for him and his friend. While I did believe that they were of the legal age to drink, I politely declined their request, because I just wanted to get in, grab my cottage cheese, and get out. I didn't want to deal with anything else. Tyrone then asks, "Are you black?" I was confused at this question because I figured that his eyes worked fine since he was the driver and anyone whose eyes work even remotely can tell that I am. Because I was confused, I asked, "What does that have to do with anything?" Again, this is something that I probably wouldn't do had it not been 3:15 in the morning. Anton interjected, "Just answer. Are you black?" I told them what their eyes had already let them know--that, yes, I am indeed black. For some reason, we stayed on the subject of what race I was. "Black and what?" Anton questioned. "I'm just black," I clarified, wondering if they were maybe census takers in their down time. Tyrone then instructed me, "Then take yo' black self* on!" as they drove away to another parking spot to ask someone else to purchase their beverages for them.

I continued into the Fry's to purchase my cottage cheese (with pineapple!) and nothing else. I was very surprised at myself for giving the amount of attitude that I gave them, which usually would not happen if I weren't tired. I was also slightly annoyed and angry at Anton and Tyrone's insistence that I owed them some kind of favor because I'm black. Maybe I missed the black people meeting, but I don't see how I am in any way obligated to do something for someone else because we have similar amounts of melanin.

Let this be a warning to all reading this: if you are ever approached by 2 black fellows in a truck at 3:15 in the morning in a Fry's parking lot, don't go near them. Be sensible and stop, drop, and roll.

*Some words in the narrative have been changed for the readers' sake.

Letter from Zacchaeus

2010-09-21T00:17:00.000-07:00

Dear Jason,

This is your car, Zacchaeus. I just wanted to write to you because of something that I think is cause for concern. Usually, I stay relatively silent (except, of course, for that sound I constantly make whenever you drive me), but I had to speak up.

Now, before I start, I want you to know that I like you. I really enjoy that you drive me, that you're concerned whenever I bottom out, and even that you call me by name. I really do enjoy all that. I'm glad I can be blessing to you by taking you wherever you need to go.

Yes, Thursday was not my best day. My left arm (I believe you called it my "front tire" or something like that) deflated. I needed a new one. Yeah, you were upset, but at the same time concerned. It's good to want to take care of things. It's called being a good steward. But I think there's a fine line between stewardship and idol worship.

Whoa, that's right, I went there! See, I remember when you first got me. You wouldn't listen to the radio because you were always talking to God. You would start yelling at other drivers and then stop yourself and pray for them. You would praise, you would confess, you would talk to God about stuff I didn't want to know. But it was good. You thanked God for your salvation, for your job, for me.

What happened? Now you just yell at other drivers while you listen to your radio. You talk to me more than you talk to God. I mean, I'm awesome. But I'm a car. I was made in a factory. The God of heaven and earth knit you in your mother's womb. You were woven by Him. He made you and knows you deeply. And you have a chance to talk to Him. And yet you choose to talk to me instead? You get what I say about idolatry?

I feel like my left arm got deflated because you weren't paying attention to God, and you know how jealous He is. He wants the glory. He deserves the glory. I was the blessing. He's the Fount of every blessing. So he took me away temporarily. But was that enough for you to turn to Him?

No, it wasn't. So He flattened my replacement arm. The next night. And you called Josiah to come pick you up, but he didn't answer. It was only then, when you were forced to walk about a half mile alone, that you talked to God. That's whack, man. Why did it take Him flattening my arm twice to get you to worship Him? Seriously, Jason, what made you stop relying on God and start relying on yourself? You've done it before. Plenty of times. And it never turns out well. If you're trying to live your life, go to the one who created it.

Honestly, Jason, I'm glad that you're driving me again and that you've turned the radio off. It's not bad to sing, but your priorities were out of whack. I'm glad to see they're turning back in the right direction. Please keep it up. I'll be really pissed if something more traumatic than a flattened arm has to happen to me for you to recognize God.

Sincerely,
Zacchaeus, the Wee Little Car

Here I Am to Worship

2010-09-01T11:13:00.000-07:00

It's been far too long since I've posted. I apologize. I'm making a new (school) year's resolution to get on this more.

Anyway, I was talking with my homeboy Richdawg the other day. He and I were talking about worship at our Nav Nites and what it's gonna look like. I won't go into too much detail about what we talked about because if I told you, I'd have to kill you (and you don't wanna get killed, do you?), but we did talk about some songs that we like and some songs that we don't. Actually, moreso the latter than the former. We wanted to make a list of worship songs that we weren't going to be doing this year, whether we dislike the simplicity of the song, the incoherency, the cheesiness, or the theological implications. For example...

Come, Now is the Time to Worship
This is my all time least favorite worship song ever. I've heard someone remark that it sounds Universalist ("One day every tongue will confess You are God, one day every knee will bow"). That's definitely true if you're not familiar with Philippians 2, but I'm willing to overlook that since it's based on Scripture. My beef is the implications of what I'm singing. Essentially, I'm saying, "Yes, Jesus, every person living and dead will one day acknowledge your deity, but for those who recognize it this side of the grave are gonna have partay while those who wait too long are gonna suffer in hell. Sucks to be y'all!" At least that's how I feel when I sing it. I feel like "Still the greatest treasure remains for those who gladly choose You now" is the lyrical equivalent of spitting in the face of the lost.

Mighty to Save
I don't really dislike this song all that much, but there are a few things that are nigh unforgivable about it. For one, the verses don't rhyme. That's not the biggest deal, I know, but I feel like writing something that doesn't rhyme is kinda lazy. And it wouldn't bother me nearly as much if the song was coherent. You would think that "Mighty to Save" is about how God saves us throughout the song. But you don't really get that. The first part of the first verse talks about our need for compassion, love, and mercy. The second part does talk about our need for forgiveness, but "the hope of nations" doesn't really fit in right there. The second verse isn't much better. It talks about Him taking us as we are and then how we will surrender everything to follow Him. Even looking at the chorus, I feel like we're talking about how God is mighty, not mighty to save. Don't get me wrong. I like all the stuff that the song talks about. But it's not one coherent thought. It's all over the place. And if you're gonna be all over the place, at least rhyme.

Revelation Song
Richdawg and I actually agree that this is a really good song. We both like it a lot, except one line: "Clothed in rainbows of living color." What? Someone in a forum wrote that they imagine a unicorn prancing across the stage when we sing that line. There's a chance that we'll do this one at Nav Nite, but that line will be modified, like with what Crowder did with the "sloppy wet kiss" part of an otherwise good song.

Do you have a song I should add to the list? Or do you maybe have a reason for why one of these songs shouldn't be on the list? Let's discuss. What are your thoughts?

Who Am I?

2010-07-06T02:16:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite stupid comedies of all time is Zoolander. In it, Derek Zoolander is dismayed when he loses the status of #1 male model to Hansel ("he's so hot right now"). After the ceremony that puts Hansel above Derek, he's seen walking the streets, not knowing what to do with his life. He looks at a reflection of himself and asks, "Who am I?" His reflection answers, "I don't know."

I think, although this is a wildly stupid Ben Stiller movie, that this scene speaks volumes about human thinking. Derek was so distraught that he'd been dethroned as the top male model that he questioned who he was. He was lost. He'd been at that spot for the past four years, and when that was taken away, so was his identity. He looked to his own reflection and wondered what, if not the top male model, was he.

God made us all different. He gave us all different gifts, different abilities, different interests. These are good things that the good Lord has blessed us with, and some of them can even help describe who we are. But when those good things of the Lord stop describing us and start defining us, we've misused those gifts. When our identity is wrapped in the temporal blessing rather than the infinite God who blesses, we're doomed to fail.

There are so many adjectives we use to describe ourselves that we can easily take on as our name. Black, white, fat, thin, tall, short, athletic, musically-inclined, gay, straight, student, minister, doctor, poet, author, blogger, hippie, Republican, Democrat, reader, gamer, sinner, saint, ugly, pretty, misshapen, whatever else you can think of to put here. Good or bad, we run into trouble when we let these define us, when these things consume us and we let them become all that we are.

In biblical times, names meant more than what they mean now. In Genesis 35, we see God change Jacob's name essentially from Deceiver to One Who Struggles with God. Later on in that same chapter, we see Jacob change his own son's name from Ben-Oni ("Son of my sorrows," given to him by his mother's dying breath) to Benjamin ("Son of my right hand"). I think these instances of renaming are beautiful pictures of what God does. We can take up as our names our struggles, or what we dislike about ourselves, or even what we like about ourselves. But God comes in and says, "No, I have something better for you. You are Mine. You are My beloved child, whom I love. I bought you with the blood of My one and only Son whom I love dearly. The cost was great, but I don't regret it. Shake off that old self; that's not who you are. I'll tell you who you are. You are a beloved child of the Most High."

I know I struggle with labeling myself by my talents or my failures or whatever thing I choose to listen to about myself. But, as Tyler Durden says in Fight Club, "You are not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet." Where Tyler fails to give a "You are" amidst all the "You are not," Jesus steps in and says, "You are My beloved."

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!" The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. -Romans 8:15-17

Is there such a thing as too much grace?

2010-06-09T00:47:00.000-07:00

I haven't blasted a public Christian figure since Pat Robertson's stupid comments on Haiti. I think it's time to remedy that.

I recently heard on Twitter, Facebook, and other social media that Ted Haggard was starting a church in Colorado Springs. He's a pastor that came into the limelight in 2006 when a male prostitute made it public that Haggard had been paying him for sex and drugs for three years. Haggard (wisely) stepped down from leadership in his megachurch and kinda disappeared for a while.

Well, he's back. What started off as prayer meetings in his house turned into St. James Church (even though he assured us in April that he would not be starting a church). At St. James, "Everyone is welcome: Democrat, Republican, gay, straight, bi, addicts, tall, short."

I read a blog by someone who actually knows Haggard. Mike, from People of the Second Chance, stated that "at the end of the day I believe in radical grace. And I will forever be a champion of second chances, seemingly lost causes, and the prodigals that no one believes in."

When you put it like that, it seems unchristian to disagree. We are all broken people that God chooses to use despite of, not because of, ourselves. Why should I deny Haggard the grace that I so often need and get?

The simple answer is I shouldn't. And I don't. I definitely don't think that Haggard should be denied grace. That would be playing God, something which I don't want to do and frankly am not good at. I just have to ask, how far do we carry this grace? Jason Boyett, a blogger and author who I read though I more often than not disagree with him, had deep trouble with Haggard's dishonesty with the whole thing. He also asked if 3 years was enough time to recover. I agree, and want to go a step further. I think a role in church leadership should be completely out of the question. Extending grace does not mean making just anyone clergy. God set up some rules for who should be considered an overseer of the local church. I don't see Haggard in that. Maybe he's learned self-control since leaving New Life Church. Maybe he's quit drugs and is sober-minded. Maybe he's learned how to handle his household (although I read that instead of trying to find a job he was asking for donations so he could support his family and take classes online). Verse 7, however is the real kicker, which says that the overseer should have good standing with those outside the church. I don't see that one happening. His sin was too public and hypocritical to be ignored. Furthermore, I would like to see what would happen if he joined another church and tried to join their pastoral staff. If this were to happen, and he got accepted instead of laughed at (if I were on that pastoral hiring committee, there would be much laughter), I would eat my right shoe.

I think we as Christians and recipients of such amazing grace should show grace to others who need it. But not so much grace that we are ignoring God's laws and ultimately causing harm to others. I think then we are showing a bit too much grace.

No More LOST...

2010-05-31T01:32:00.000-07:00

So, last week, one of the greatest TV shows in the history of television ended, leaving some happy, some angry, and some utterly confused. I am sad, feeling like I've lost a friend; a friend who I only saw on a weekly basis, and only online, but a friend nonetheless.

I know that it's done and we won't see any crappy spinoffs, but I feel like it left the possibility open. So I'm going to present to you the spinoff series and movies that will never be, but could be. (None of this will make sense if you haven't seen the show, so if you haven't, stop reading now and watch it. All of it. Right now.)

Ben & Hugo
Starring: Jorge Garcia and Michael Emerson
This sitcom starts right after Jack dies and Lapidus and the crew fly off. It's the tale of the obese yet lovable Hugo "Hurley" Reyes taking over the island as the new Jacob, living with his often insufferable #2, Benjamin Linus. There will be guest appearances by Rose and Bernard (L. Scott Caldwell and Sam Anderson) and a couple "Very Special Episodes" where Hugo and Ben deal with loss. It will be touching. You will cry.

Ji Yeon
Starring: Henry Ian Cusick, Sonya Walger, and some little Korean girl
This made for TV movie will tell the tale of Ji Yeon Kwon, Sun and Jin's daughter who has to grow up not knowing who her parents are because they died in the submarine. Desmond and Penny Hume will raise her, sheltering her from her parents' troubled past, but she will have dreams, remembering the short time that she had with her mother before Sun returned to the island. Yunjin Kim will reprise her role as Sun for a dream sequence. If it does well, they'll try to get Daniel Dae Kim for the sequel, but let's not count those chickens before they hatch.

You All Everybody
This rockumentary will tell of the rise and fall of Drive Shaft, delving into the bandmates' drug and sex habits and trying to regroup after the death of their bassist, Charlie Pace, on Oceanic 815 (or so they thought...).

My Two Moms
Alternate Title: Raised by Another
Starring: Evangeline Lilly and Emily de Ravin
After they arrive back in the States, Kate has a hard time letting go of Aaron, though she went back to the island with the express purpose of bringing Claire back. The solution is that they raise him together. This show, dealing with the hardships of two women raising a son together and fighting over the title of "favorite mom" will eventually be syndicated on Lifetime.

The Extra Miles
Starring: Ken Leung and Josh Holloway
I know they were only cops in the flash sideways/purgatory thing, but there's gotta be a cop show somewhere in there, where Miles solves murders by talking to the dead, only letting his partner, Officer James Ford, know of his ability. Michelle Rodriguez will be a series regular as Ana Lucia until special guest star Harold Perrineau shoots and kills her, due to negative audience response.

I Love You, Too
Starring: Naveen Andrews, Maggie Grace, and Andrea Gabriel
There's trouble in the afterlife when Nadia, Sayid's former lover, dies and finds him snogging Shannon. This movie will show how Sayid deals with having a girlfriend on-island and one off-island, and what happens when they meet.

Alas, none of these will ever take place, but you know it will be awesome if it did. You would watch all of them. Don't lie. You know you would.

Prayer for the Supreme Court

2010-04-19T13:57:00.001-07:00

Today, I ask you to be in prayer for a Supreme Court decision. I received this from a higher up in the Nav office, so I'll just let them explain what's happening rather than summarize:

On April 19th, [that's today!] the U.S. Supreme Court will hear arguments to decide whether groups like The Navigators, InterVarsity, Campus Crusade and others can be removed from college campuses because they require their officers and voting members to share their core religious commitments. According to some universities these core religious beliefs violate their affirmative action policy.

Seventeen organizations and 13 state attorney generals are working together on this case. Pray for the justices to rule on the side of religious freedom. For more information on how to pray, go to http://www.intervarsity.org/news/campus-faith-freedom-alert. This case has far reaching implications for religious freedom in all areas.

Behind Closed Doors

2010-04-12T02:30:00.000-07:00

I work at a movie theater, so it's amazing how often sex comes up. We're a "family establishment," so we don't carry anything above an R rating (although I've heard that Zach and Miri Make a Porno and Brüno were pretty close to NC-17). Still, both my co-workers and customers talk sex far more often than I previously thought was acceptable.

For example, on New Year's Day, a customer asked if I'd had a good night. I said yes. He asked, "Did you get any?" I said no. He said that it was not a good night. I didn't really care too much that he gauged my enjoyability of the night based on whether or not I'd had sex, but that he came into my place of employment and inquired of a perfect stranger about his sexual activity (or lack thereof). Why is that OK?

In another instance, a young co-worker of mine got asked his age. He answered that he was 18. The middle-aged women (*COUGH* cougars *COUGH*)that he was helping said, "Oh, you're legal." Later that night, this same co-worker told me about his first time and gave more detail than I cared to know. A completely different co-worker told me about his first time. And a different co-worker told all who were listening that he and his girlfriend had sex recently for the first time since she had his kid. This whole paragraph all happened in one night.

I guess this is why I get kind of uncomfortable when reading the Song of Solomon. I have no problem with what Solomon and his wife did, I just don't think that what happens in someone's bedroom should leave their bedroom. I thought that this was the norm, but I'm starting to think that not many people share this thought. I guess I should be surprised, since pretty much any rap song (and a bunch of R&B and rock as well) are littered with explicit sexual lyrics that would make Solomon cry. It's also all over a good deal of TV shows (I challenge you to watch an episode of Friends where someone doesn't sleep with someone else. Go ahead, do it).

I guess I'm turning into one of those crotchety old men who thinks that a couple who are sleeping together don't need to share it with others. I guess I'm just way old fashioned and think that what happens behind closed doors happens behind closed doors for a reason. Or I guess I need to grow up and realize that sex happens, and I should just embrace it because complaining's not going to do anything about it anyway.

Pardon my rant. It just frustrate's me that we have become a society so obsessed with sex that I can't escape it, on TV, in the movies, and apparently at work. I don't think that sex is inherently a bad thing, but we humans have taken something that God created to be good and have bastardized it so it doesn't mean anything. There's very little commitment involved anymore, if any. It's devolved from something that was meant to be enjoyed by two people joined together in holy matrimony to "just sex." Pretty soon, people will post videos on the internet of themselves having sex (my sarcasm hand is raised). I pray this is a trend that will soon be reversed, but I don't see that happening.

God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jesus

2010-04-02T10:43:00.000-07:00

Genesis 22 has always been an uncomfortable chapter in the Bible for me to read. The gist of the story is that God tests Abraham and tells him to sacrifice Isaac, his son, as a burnt sacrifice to the Lord. This was slightly problematic because God had prophecied that He would use Isaac, Abraham's only son, to bring about a great nation, and that was gonna be hard to do if Isaac was dead. Nonetheless, Abraham took Isaac up to the mountain and was about to bring the knife down when God stopped him and provided a ram for the sacrifice. God was satisfied with Abraham's obedience and later fulfilled His promise to muliply Abraham's descendants.

I always find it uncomfortable around verses 7-10. In 7, Isaac asks his father where the lamb was for the burnt offering.
In 8, Abraham tells his son that God will provide it.
In 9, Abraham lays Isaac on the wood.
In 10, he raises the knife.

This is where I would fail. Even knowing the end of the story, I still wince whenever I think of Abraham raising the knife to slaughter his son, his only son, whom he loved (v. 2). I don't even have kids, but I can't imagine doing that. Even knowing now, on this side of the sacrifice, that God would provide the ram in place of the son, or even knowing that God could raise the son from the dead (Hebrews 11:17-19), I don't think I could have lifted my arm to offer my son as a sacrifice.

I was thinking about this this morning, and thinking about the many parallels there are between Abraham's offer of his son to the Lord and God's offer of His Son to us. The son carried the wood that he would be placed upon. The son had been prophecied to be a blessing to many nations. He was the one and only son, who the father loved. God provided the lamb for the sacrifice.

There is one main difference between these two. God stopped Abraham from going all the way. When He provided the lamb, Abraham got to take Isaac back down the mountain. On the cross, however, Jesus suffered and died. There was no other sacrifice to take His place.

I was thinking about how I'm always uncomfortable thinking about Genesis 22, but it doesn't phase me much when I think about how Jesus died. It's become almost old to me. I can say Jesus died, and not bat an eyelash. I offer up a "Thanks, God!" like I would thank someone for giving me $20. This is much bigger than $20. He gave His Son, causing Them to be in disunity for the first time in all eternity. That's big.

I pray that on this Good Friday that we will not belittle the Cross of Christ, but remember exactly what that meant to Him, not only the physical suffering and death, but that He took our sins and their punishment upon Himself. And praise God that it didn't all end there, because if Good Friday had happened without Easter, it would not have been good at all, and we are to be pitied the most of all people.

And when the sixth hour had come, there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour. And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?" which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" ...And Jesus uttered a loud cry and breathed his last. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. And when the centurion, who stood facing him, saw that in this way he breathed his last, he said, "Truly this man was the Son of God!"
-Mark 15:33-34, 37-39

I Paved Paradise to put up a Parking Lot

2010-02-22T15:17:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I haven't updated this in a while. My laptop is having troubles and I can't use it. Well, it's not the laptop tha has troubles, it's the power cord. It sparks. I'm no computer genius, but I'm pretty sure when your AC adapter starts sparking, you should stop using it. It seems nobody carries the right power cord I need, and the universal ones aren't working either so, I have been without computer. It's shown me how much I rely on that thing, and how difficult life is without it.

So, all that to say that I can't update this very much right now. I'm using my iPod Touch for this blog, and I have to be careful with how much I use that since I need computer power to charge it.

So I'm still alive and can't wait to get my computer working again, because there's quite a bit to update about.

Much love,
Jason

The Day After

2010-02-08T20:46:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday was Super Bowl XLIV (why they insist on Roman numerals instead of regular numerals is beyond me). As most of America knows, the Saints came back from a 10 point deficit to beat the Colts, 31-17. This should not have come as a surprise considering that God obviously favors saints over colts (Jesus served the saints, but he rode a colt to the Triumphal Entry). Another thing that most Americans know is that the Super Bowl is not about football. It's not about parties or eating junk food or Janet Jackson flashing everyone. It's about the commercials.

Is it just me or have Super Bowl commercials sucked a lot lately? I mean, companies spend millions for a 30-second spot, and that crap that they gave us is really the best that they can do? It would be too difficult to compile a list of the best Super Bowl commercials because I'd have to search far and wide for good ones. But, how about a list of...

The Worst Super Bowl Commercials of Superbowl 44!

7. The Tim Tebow Story
I must admit I thought that Pam Tebow was Mary Steenburgen when the commercial started. I realized that this was the controversial Focus on the Family commercial that some more liberal groups were complaining about when she held up a picture of a little boy. And then Tim Tebow tackled his mom. I guess this was to say, "Hey, he's a football player that people should know," for the people who didn't know who he was, but I thought it was very stupid because (1) he had no reason to tackle her, (2) he's a quarterback and thus doesn't tackle much, and (3) um, what was the point of that commercial? I guess I wouldn't have been so disappointed if people weren't so pissy about it before it aired, causing an unnecessary uproar about the evil James Dobson-led group getting a half minute spot during the Super Bowl. I think for all the commotion, he at least should have tackled a recently un-pregnant teenager walking out of Planned Parenthood and revealing her to be satan in Ellen Page's body. I'm just saying.

6. The Jack-in-the-Box Commercial
In an attempt to show that Jack-in-the-Box is trying "new things," (which I take to mean good food) the big white ball-headed spokesman goes bungee jumping off of a bridge, but they forget to secure the rope. Luckily, his hat takes the brunt of the fall, and he's still alive to give us stomach pain for another day. I think they should have ended it with him dying, and then the employees sawing off his flesh and putting them into their tacos. That would explain a lot.

5. The Dramatic Chipmunk and other animals Commercial
I'm not gonna lie. I laughed when I saw the Dramatic Chipmunk commercial. I can respect a company using popular internet memes to sell their product. But then they kept doing it with other animals. After that, it was just stupid and annoying.

4. The Denny's Commercials
Speaking of using animals annoyingly in commercials, I feel these Denny's commercials were intentionally trying to annoy people so we won't flock to the breakfast restaurant and get our free Grand Slams and cause them to go out of business. When I see/hear chickens screaming, I don't think, "Ooh, I want breakfast," I think, "Ooh, cut it's head off so it'll stop screaming and make a delicious dinner next to the mashed potatoes." And if I want that, I'm going to Cracker Barrel.

3. The Budweiser Bull Commercial
What's with all the animals? This commercial showed a scrawny looking cow that I guess wanted to race a horse but realized that he was a cow. However, 3 years pass, and this cow is not a big strong bull with big horns and, instead of being stopped by a wooden fence, he plows through and trots alongside the horse, as a bull should. I think some farmer wanted to get some money from the beer company and pitched this idea using his own animals (who, like Gary Coleman, will never see the money that he made off of them). When they asked the connection to the beer, he said that they can have the word "Budweiser" at the end of the commercial. The Bud execs were drinking heavily that day (so much so that they actually started to like the taste of Budweiser), so they accepted the commercial pitch. That's the only reason I can think of that they would have a beer commercial devoid of beer.

2. The GoDaddy/Dockers/Career Builder/any other commercial where people are for no reason undressed or undressing
The Dockers commercial actually had some significance, because they were saying that men should wear pants. I got the point of the Career Builder one, but I feel like they could have come up with better ways of saying "this job sucks." And someone at our party said that he thought that GoDaddy was a porn website because of their raunchy commercials. Again, there has to be a better way of advertising a website that sells domain names than Danica Patrick taking her clothes off.

1. The Bridgestone Tires Commercial
As much as I hate companies using sex to promote their products, this tire commercial takes home the award for the Worst Super Bowl 44 Commercial. A man is told to either give up his tires or his life. The man apparently mishears the villain and thinks that it is his tires or his wife. He kicks his wife out of the car and drives away. Let me repeat that: Bridgestone wants you to pick four rubber circles over your committed bride. I hate this commercial for the same reason I hate those stupid Miller Lite commercials that say to choose your girlfriend over your mom, but your beer over your girlfriend. I understand wanting people to buy your product, but saying that it's more important than the people you are to be committed to is reaching a new low.

I think Wal-Mart should have submitted the following commercial, because it has me laughing, no matter how many times I watch it.

Peace

2010-01-28T05:00:00.001-07:00

So, my last blog told a story that never happened to me. For balance, here's a story that did:

When I was 16, the first semester of my Junior year of high school, I was hospitalized. For three days and four nights, I got my own room and a bed. It wasn't quite the vacation that that last sentence makes it sound. I was on a liquid diet, which is one of the worst things in the world. My disgusting breakfast consisted of lemon jello and vegetable stock. My tasteless lunch was cherry jello and beef stock. Dinner was the most enjoyable "meal," which consisted of orange jello and chicken stock. To this day, I can't eat jello.

I was there for an ulcer, which basically means my stomach was bleeding. They use to think that it was only caused by stress, but they found a virus that causes it, which is what I had, and which explains why such a young person had an ulcer (as difficult as Junior year of hih school was, it's not quite ulcer-inducing).

It was a very weird day when I was rushed to the hospital. I was helping my mom's friend move, but I wasn't much help because my stomach was hurting terribly the whole time. When we got home, I remember pouring myself some water one minute and then waking up one the ground the next minute, the back of my head and elbows in pain apparently from hitting the floor. I went downstairs to get ready to go to the hospital. In the parking lot, I threw up. Blood.

On the way to the hospital, I was praying, as I'm sure most Christians would in my situation. My prayer wasn't really that I would get there safely or for healing. I and my possibly overdramatic 16-year-old mind were pretty sure that I was going to die. And I was alright with that. I was praying more for my mom, who would have been completely dismayed if I did die.

I was completely fine with the thought of dying, even at such a young age. God had given me an amazing peace. I knew that if He wanted to take me out of this life, He would take me to be with Him. I probably had every right to be freaking out at that moment, but God gave me peace. Now, more than 7 years later, I'm filled with worry and anxiety all around me instead of trusting in God's provision and accepting His peace. I pray that I--and you--would find peace in God in the midst of life's trials.

"do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7

Tonight

2010-01-25T05:00:00.000-07:00

Did I ever tell you about my dream job working at a gourmet restaurant? Oh, I didn't, eh? Well, let me tell you...

My story starts out quite some time ago. I had gotten hired to prepare desserts at the Nicaraguan Barbecue Cafe after the previous guy went to another restaurant (I think it was called the Cajun Bird Station). I was the dessert chef for quite some time. I always had my eye on the main course, though. I knew people didn't go to the restaurant for the dessert, as good as it was. I almost started considering going to other restaurants, until...

I was offered the job as head cook! I was uber excited. I had dreamed of it since I was a kid, always admiring the craft. It would be quite some time before I would take up the position, but I was promised that it would be mine. I waited for what must have been five years. I was so excited when I got the position! You have no idea. I was a little upset because the restaurant decided to hire the old head cook to prepare the appetizers, a move that many were skeptical about and would still have my creations following the previous chef's, but whatever. I had the job I wanted. So, there was a new line up. The old guy on first with the appetizers, I'd swoop in afterward with the main course, and then we hired this guy who once worked for the Siberian Noodle Lounge to take my place on desserts.

Well, this immediately didn't go too well. The appetizers turned out to be a very bad idea, and many people were so dissatisfied with it that they didn't stick around for the main course or desserts. The restaurant knew that it wasn't working with the old guy doing appetizers. Everybody suggested that he just put up his hat, that he'd worked there long enough and had his day. He had enough money to live off of, so he didn't need the work. The restaurant was fine all those years without appetizers anyway. I thought that this would be the logical plan of action.

However, the Nicaraguan Barbecue Cafe had different plans. They wanted to give the old guy his position back. I was flabbergasted! He was the one who drove off the clientele with his appetizers, and they were gonna kick me back to dessert?! Where's the logic in that? Many voiced their opinions that this was an even worse idea than the appetizers debacle. People from the Cajun Bird Station, as well as from another rival restaurant, the Asian Bowl Company, spoke out in my defense, and the people loved me. But the company had made their decision. After only 7 short months, the job was his again. I didn't think it'd be fair to bump the new guy without giving him a chance. So I decided I'd be the bigger man and just quit. As much as it hurt me, I knew it was the right thing to do for the restaurant. Who knows? Maybe you'll eventually see me at the French-Oriental Xanadu (I'm not sure why they named it that, but I suppose that's not too important).

So, that's my completely true and non-allegorical story of my tenure at a restaurant. It was my dream job and it was taken away from me by the guy who had already lived the dream but didn't want to give it up. But it's OK, they gave me a good severance package, and I'm a classy guy, so I took it like a champ and don't wish any ill will towards Jay--er, I mean the old guy.

And now, I leave you with a song that I feel is appropriate as a memorial to the short 7 months that I had at this job.

Lust

2010-01-21T17:00:00.045-07:00

So I joined this thing called the "One Word at a Time Blog Carnival." Basically, every other week, they give you a single word to blog about. I figured that this was a good thing for me since I vowed to blog twice a week (which was broken on Monday by work and preparing for school to start; sorry) and sometimes don't know what to write about. So I look on this list and the word for this 2 week period is "lust." I honestly thought about not joining the Blog Carnival for another week. Nobody wants to write about lust. There are more comfortable sins to write about, some where a person can point the finger and say, "Look at those people. Look at how they dishonor God." In some ways, it is easy to do that with this. I can say, "Look at Potiphar's wife, how she couldn't resist Joseph and gave in to her lusts," or "Look at David, and how he saw Bathsheba on the roof and had to have her."

It's easy to see these examples of lust and cross my arms and shake my head in disapproval. These people are long dead, but their deeds are immortalized in the words of Scripture. However, it doesn't take much digging in my life to bring to the surface times in which I've let my eyes wander. I may not have ripped off someone's robe or called a bathing woman to my bedchambers, but according to Jesus, I have committed adultery in my heart with more women that I care to count.

Keep reading in that passage, and it's clear that Jesus takes lust seriously. People don't usually advise that you mutilate your body for your own good, so it seems He's trying to get your attention.

Why is the lust of the eyes such a big deal to God? I have never claimed to know the mind of God, but something tells me that it's because He is a jealous God. He doesn't want us to take our eyes off of the Cross and put it on some man or woman. He doesn't want us to take our eyes off the Creator and put them on the things He's created. He wants all the glory.

We Christians can't ignore lust because we know what God says about it, but I think we have a flawed way of dealing with it. Instead of taking our eyes off of the people that He's created and putting them on Him, we try to put them on other solutions. There are internet filters. There are books. One such book, Every Young Man's Battle, suggests that if a young man catches himself looking at a young woman, he should "bounce," his eyes. Eyes diverted, crisis avoided. What this seems like to me is an attempt to be holy, minus Jesus. We think that by avoiding this sin, we're bringing ourselves closer to God through our actions. Isaiah 64:6 makes it clear that whatever good we try to do is insufficient.

Brothers and sisters, I pray that in whatever temptations that we will inevitably encounter, that we not forget the sacrifice that Christ gave so that we don't have to work to earn His grace, but that we are continually "looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

Bad Representation

2010-01-14T05:00:00.104-07:00

Here in the great United States of America, we are blessed with the right to free speech. Criminals are also given the right to remain silent. I think we too often practice the former and ignore the latter.

I'm sure everybody's heard about the devastating 7.0 earthquake that hit Haiti on Tuesday. I'm sure a lot of people have also heard about televangelist Pat Robertson's comments on the earthquake. If you haven't, click here.

How Pat Robertson is still allowed on TV, I have no idea. How people listen to him is simply beyond me. This guy claims to be a man of God, yet some of the things he says make me question whether or not he has ever read the Bible or just makes one up as he goes. He gets on television and proclaims that God is getting back at the people of Haiti for something that they themselves had nothing to do with by sending an earthquake to kill thousands and hurt millions of others.

What a horrible misrepresentation of Christ of His Church! And one thing that pisses me off is when people look at Robertson and say things like, "Christianity at it's finest." When people think about Christians, this should not be the first thing that pops into their head. I and the Christians I know would not stare in the face of someone who just lost their family in an earthquake and tell them that it's their fault and the fault of their people. I and the Christians I know would not watch the Twin Towers fall down and say, "Well, you can blame the ACLU, the homosexuals, the abortionists, and the feminists for this one." I and the Christians I know are not represented by the likes of Pat Robertson.

It angers and saddens me that Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and Fred Phelps have somehow become the faces of Christianity. The Church is supposed to be ambassadors for Christ. These yahoos do not stand for what Christ stands for. These are the very kinds of people Christ opposed. These people are quick to cast the first stone. I do not serve their god because they have created a god in their own image.

I pray that Christians around the world will be able to show the people of Haiti what the Church is really about. I pray that they don't see fingers pointed at them, but hands helping them up. I pray that God will show them how much He loves His creation by using us, His people, to care for those who need it.

The Customer is Seldom Right

2010-01-11T05:00:00.001-07:00

I've made a point to pray on my way to and from work instead of listening to music. It's been a very good time of talking to my Father. I usually start by thanking Him for providing me with my job again, even though I often complain about it. This is the second time that He's used Harkins to answer my prayer request of a job, and for answering it, I am very thankful.

I, however, have never thanked Him for the customers I have to deal with on a regular basis. I suppose I can thank Him for sending these people to test my patience. What's that? You don't know what kind of people I deal with? If only there were a list of the types of customers that come into Harkins.... Oh, look I found:

The List of Annoying Harkins Customers

The Smoker: This guy comes up to me in box office. There's only a small opening so they can give me money and I can give them the ticket. But good gravy does this man's stench fly through that little space! I want to gag and tell him to step away and yell what movie he wants to see. And the stink lingers, too. Once, I went to clean the bathroom. I step in and I smell the pungent odor of cigarette, greatly overpowering the ungodly smells that a bathroom is supposed to have. This guy smelled so bad, he brought his stench from outside, walked through the lobby and into the bathroom, and left some odor for the poor defenseless usher to try to mask. I'm glad I don't have to sit next to this guy in the theater.

The Procrastinator: She likes to show up on busy days. There will be a long line of people waiting to get there concessions and go to their movie. While she's waiting in said line, do her eyes look up at the menu? Oh, no, there's too much socialization to be doing to spend time on that. There's really no need to look until they make it to the cashier. Not only does said cashier have to stand their as she says, "Um, let's see, what do I want?" He also has to deal with her vague requests for "some popcorn" or "a coke." "What size?" the cashier asks through clenched teeth. And if she asks for layered butter....

The Pre-Snacker: Oh, your family just came from Coldstone, huh? That's nice. I see your little one got something colorful and pretty. I hope you guys enjoy it. Outside. Oh, no, you actually can't bring in any outside food or drink. Stop arguing with me, please. This isn't going to change the rules. I don't care if they used to let you in with that. I don't deal with used to. I deal with now. And now says that you either need to throw away your dessert or finish it before you come in. I'll say I'm sorry, but that's really just a courtesy. I'm not sorry. (I honestly don't care if you bring in food from the outside. Just hide it. And throw it away when you're done, don't leave it in the theater. I mean, seriously, who leaves a McDonald's bag in the theater?)

The Price-Complainer: This is the guy who comes up to your register in concessions and buys his snacks, but lets you know that he's not happy about it. "$5.75 for a bag of popcorn? Are you kidding me? That's highway robbery!" I would like to respond with either, "Then don't buy it," or "It's actually not highway robbery, it's price-gouging. There's a difference," but I instead ask if he want's to make it bigger for 75 cents and if he wanted to throw in some M&M's for four bucks. The worst part: he does.

The Late-Comer: This person annoys me on different levels depending on where and when I'm working. If I'm in box office, ready to close, but you come in 15 minutes after the last movie starts showing, you're wasting my and your time, buddy.
If I'm at door (ticket-taker), and you come in at 7:15 for a free screening that started at 7, you're not getting in. No, I can't allow you into another movie for free since you can't read that the ticket says, "Come early; seating is limited and it is first come, first served." Yes, you did drive all the way out here for nothing. You got what you paid for. Sucks to be you.
If I'm in concessions, please don't come to my register and say, "C'mon, Jason, you're making me late for my movie," while I'm still helping the customer in front of you (this actually happened one time, and I have to admit, as much as I didn't want this guy around, I wanted to make that transaction last as long as possible; I'm a horrible human being).

The Selectively Deaf: Oh, look. There's a line of people waiting to get into this rated R movie that's just been released. And I've been selected to check tickets to make sure we don't have movie-hoppers. Oh joy! I will stand by this sign that says, "Have your tickets ready and make sure you have it if you leave the theater, cuz you gone get checked again." Now, I will wait until my manager finishes saying, "Make sure you always have your ticket on you, because it will be checked every time you try to enter the theater. Seriously, folks. Don't leave it in there." Oh, goody, now the lines going in. This isn't so bad. Ah, people are leaving to get snacks and use the restroom. That's nice. Oh, look, they're returning. You left your ticket inside? I checked it already? I should remember you? I'm sorry, I was looking at your ticket instead of memorizing your face out of 400 others. That was my bad, I guess. It's not like you had warning that you should have your ticket on you or anything....

The Cell Phone-Talker: I actually kind of enjoy when they come to my register, because I talk to these people as if their attention weren't split between their order and this obviously life or death call. "Hi, welcome to Harkins, how can I help you?"
"Hold on," they tell the person on the other line. "Um, give me a large popcorn and a refill of Diet Coke." They continue with their other conversation.
"Are you sure you didn't want our tub? It's only 75 cents more"
"No, the large is fine," they say, covering the mouthpiece.
"Would you like butter on that?"
"Yes, please," they answer, looking annoyed.
"Do you only want it on top or do you want me to layer it and get all your popcorn nice and buttery?"
"Hold on a second," they say into their phone, obviously pissed. "On top is good." The conversation continues.
"And did you want any Red Vines or Skittles with that today?"
"No thanks!" They shove their credit card in my hand.
"Can I see your ID please?" They angrily look through their wallet or purse for their driver's license. At this point, I'm almost giddy. When all is said and done, I give them a nice, sincere, "Thank you, enjoy your movie!" (Like I said, I'm a horrible person. But so are they, so it evens out.)

This is by no means an exhaustive list. I didn't mention the people that ask what all of the movies are about, the men with terrible aim, or the just plain stupid people (I honestly had someone ask if she could use her fake ID to see a rated R movie. I wanted to throw my cash register at her head). I figured the list is long enough. Does anybody else have examples of people proving wrong the old adage, "The customer is always right"?

Sacrifice

2010-01-07T05:00:00.000-07:00

It's the first week of January, which means that gyms are fuller than usual, Starbucks is seeing more "non-fat" drinks, and grocery stores are probably seeing an increase in nicotine patch sales and a decrease in cigarette sales. For a while.

I know a lot of people like to make New Years resolutions, myself included. Some have the (probably correct) mentality that if there is an area of your life that needs improvement, there's no need to wait until January 1 to take care of it. Some foresee the future failure and don't even try. They don't see the point in making an empty promise to themselves that will only disappear as the year progresses. I can respect these reasons. Really, I only make New Years resolutions for tradition's sake.

So far, I'm making good on all my resolutions. I've read the Bible everyday of 2010 so far, I've worked on Scripture memory, and I've been watching what I eat (how much, how healthy/unhealthy is it). I'm still recovering from an upper respiratory infection, but when that's cleared up, I'd love to... um, I'd like... part of me wants to start running.

There's a very simple reason these resolutions tend to be completely off the radar come March and don't resurface until January 1 the following year: resolving to change takes sacrifice. After a while of hitting the gym, it gets harder and harder to go there and give up that comfortable spot on the couch with a bag of chips and the remote. I've heard somebody say that the hardest part of going to the gym is going to the gym.

Sacrifice is by definition not easy, but we as Christians are called to sacrifice. Jesus says in Luke 9:23, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." He tells us to sacrifice ourselves--our dreams, our desires, our wants, our lives--to follow Him. And you know the best part? It's totally worth it. He asks for all of us, and in return we get Him, which is infinitely better than what earthly possessions we may have had. It's not easy. It'll hurt. But it's worth it.

I'll try to remember this, not only in my daily walk with God, but in every aspect of my life. It was a sacrifice to go to Dunkin Donuts and get a muffin instead of a delicious doughnut. It was a sacrifice to grab the banana from QT rather than that delectable maple long john (in case you couldn't tell, I really like doughnuts). It was a sacrifice to hop on the treadmill yesterday rather than keep the recliner warm. But these small sacrifices won't matter when the scale I step on stops breathing a sigh of relief when I step off.

Here's to less me (in more ways than one) and more Him in 2010!

Old

2010-01-04T05:00:00.003-07:00

Yesterday marked the 24th anniversary of my birth. 24 years ago, I was crying from colic and my mom was crying from 12 hours of labor and pushing my oversized head out of her.

Sometimes I look back and I have to ask, "Where has the time gone?" I mean, I feel like it wasn't that long ago that 20 seemed really old, but now I'm in my mid-20s. When did that happen and can I make it stop? I can definitely see what those Nationwide commercials are getting at when they say that "Life comes at you fast." I feel like I was a freshman math major just last week, but I've been a history graduate for 7 months.

Now, I know 24 isn't really that old. But sometimes I'm in situations that make me feel older than I am. Like going back to my old church and seeing kids that are much bigger and older than I remember them when I first started. Or being called "Sir" or "Mr. Jason."

Or going to work. Both jobs make me feel old. Whenever I go to campus, I'm reminded that I'm probably older than most people on the campus. It freaks me out slightly to think that there are kids in college who weren't alive in the 80's. What?! Seriously?! You guys are toddlers, at best.

Even worse than working on campus is working at the movie theater. I'm an adult, grown and with a completed college degree. I'm working with kids in high school. What's worse is that sometimes I'm working under kids in high school. In fact, I'm older than most team leaders and I'm pretty sure than most managers. I described it like this one time: I get off work, buy a beer, go home, drink the beer, and cry over the fact that I take orders from people who can't even buy beer (this has never happened, btw).

As weird as growing older feels, I can see 2 good things come out of it: eventually, I'll get gray hair, which Proverbs 16:31 says is a crown of glory gained in a righteous life; and I'll eventually get a senior discount. Bring on the reduced-price bacon!

And now, on this the 10th day after Christmas, I hope you enjoy this song that my choir sang many, many, many years ago when I was in 3rd or so grade:

New

2009-12-31T17:00:00.038-07:00

Tomorrow is the first day of 2010, what we so affectionately refer to as the New Year. People often take this opportunity to start fresh and resolve to be different in the new year. In fact, I was planning on making my New Year's Resolution list right here. It would include the same old things that I resolved to change last year but never did. I would be sincere in these resolutions, wanting to change, but not having it come to fruition the rest of the year. That seems to be the trend with a lot of people. (I'm not knocking New Year's Resolutions, I'm just saying that that's not what I'm talking about on this post. No, the irony does not escape me.)

Instead, I decided to write about the first word of the holiday. New. It's an interesting word. You hear about products that are "New & Improved," which doesn't make sense when you think about it. Making an improvement doesn't make something new; it makes it improved. If I cleaned my room (which is one of my resolutions), I wouldn't say that it's new. If I moved into a house that nobody had ever lived in before and hauled all my junk to a room that no one had ever slept in before, that would be new. For a while.

I think a lot of times I settle for the improved rather than the new. Because that's what I expect. If the dishes are dirty, my thought isn't to buy new ones, but to wash the ones I've used. Improve their current state.

But God doesn't want us to settle for improved. He wants to make us new. I may want to read, "If anyone is in Christ, he is an improved being. The old has been tucked away; behold the improved has been surfaced." That's not what God had Paul write in 2 Corinthians 5:17. He said that anyone in Christ is a "new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." He doesn't just change us until we're better; He makes us new. The old self is gone.

It was about 8 years ago when Christ came into my life to make me new. Sometimes I feel like that new has worn off. Like I got nicked and scratched and banged up until I look like that old 1986 model again. Even if I feel that way, I know Christ doesn't see me like that. That old me is gone, and He doesn't see it, because it's not there.

Lord, I thank You that you didn't come to improve me, but to make me new, so the old me that was Your enemy is dead and gone, crucified and buried, never to return again.

2009: A broken reflection

2009-12-28T05:00:00.000-07:00

So this is my last Monday post of 2009. Please, stop crying. There will be more in 2010 (that's twenty-ten, not two thousand ten). I thought about what I might write about. Favorite/least favorite movies of the year? Ups and downs of 2009? A reflection of what this year has taught me and the life lessons that will last long after the change of years on Friday?

Nah, I'm gonna write about angrily destroying cars.

It's recently come to my attention that I really like songs about girls getting vengeance on their cheating boyfriends by taking it out on their vehicles. I got Glee-The Music Vol. 1 for Christmas, and I was very excited to see that Amber Riley's (Mercedes) performance of "Bust Your Windows" was on the CD. Basically, in the show, Mercedes has a growing crush on Kurt, but Kurt doesn't reciprocate those feelings. She catches him looking at Finn, but assumes that he's looking at Rachel, because Finn's a guy and she (somehow) doesn't know that Kurt's gay. She proceeds to throw a rock through his window and sing one of my favorite songs from the show so far. When he angrily (and high-pitchedly) exclaims, "You busted my windows," she responds with, "Well, you busted my heart."

Another song that deals with this is "Before He Cheats," by Carrie Underwood. I mean, I know I'm supposed to like "Jesus, Take the Wheel," because all Christians who listen to country music have to, but if you say, "Carrie Underwood," my first thought is, "I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up four wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats." It's such a catchy song.

I don't know why I like these songs so much. I guess there's something appealing about busting windows and slashing tires? Really, those are the only 2 songs that deal with destroying vehicles as if they were the unfaithful ones, but I almost feel I like these too much.

Aren't you happy that I'm not an angry female?

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-24T05:00:00.006-07:00

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.... And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.

Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, "Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins." All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet:
"Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,
   and they shall call his name Immanuel"

   (which means, God with us). When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, ²⁵but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus.

And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear. And the angel said to them, "Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger." And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,
"Glory to God in the highest,
    and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!"

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.

For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

For to us a child is born,
   to us a son is given;
and the government shall be upon his shoulder,
   and his name shall be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

The "Virgin" Mary

2009-12-21T13:37:00.000-07:00

Don't let the title mislead you. I do believe that Mary was a virgin when she gave birth to Jesus. But I don't think everyone was convinced. I can imagine the conversations that happened when Mary told people about her pregnancy....

Mary: Hey, Joe, can we talk for a minute?
Joseph: Sure, my beautiful, pure, innocent bride-to-be. What about?
M: Oh, boy. Well, you know how babies are usually born after two people have sex?
J: Um, yeah? What are you getting at?
M: Well, um, the craziest thing happened to me. I was visited by an angel and he was all like, "You're gonna have God's Son," and I was all like, "But I'm a virgin," and he was like, "The Holy Spirit's gonna impregnate you, and Elizabeth's pregnant with John the Baptist," and I'm all like, "Let it be." Isn't that crazy that Elizabeth's pregnant at her age?
J: Whoa, hold on, back up a bit. You're pregnant?
M: Yeah, but... the angel... and the Holy Spirit... just read Isaiah 7:14. It explains it somewhat in there.
J: Uh, Mary, I'm not buying this. If you cheated on me, just tell me. I'll understand. I'm a just man and unwilling to see you put to shame. Read Matthew 1:19. It explains it somewhat in there.
M: I'm telling the truth. I am still a virgin, and I'm having Jesus, God's Son.
J: Well if you are, we can't be together anymore.
M: Oh, yes we can. You'll come to your senses. Just wait.

The next morning
J: Hey, Mary, can we talk.
M: Sure my unbelieving husband-to-be. What about?
J: Oh, boy. Well, I had a dream last night, and an angel said, "Take Mary as your wife, 'cuz she's pregnant by the Holy Spirit, and you're gonna call Him Jesus 'cuz he's gonna save people from their sins," and then he quoted Isaiah 7:14. Isn't that crazy that Elizabeth's pregnant at her age?
M: Me:1 You: 0

Now I'm not sure if it went down this way, but you weren't there, so we'll just say that this is legit.

On an unrelated note: Have you ever wondered what would happen if the president rapped about fixing the country? Well, now you know. Enjoy!

Community

2009-12-17T03:50:00.000-07:00

A member of my church was hit with a car this week.

I remember the last time that happened to a member of my church. He was riding his bike on his way to visit his girlfriend on Valentine's Day when a car that he didn't see and that didn't see him met. I remember coming back to campus from work that day and passing by the scene. I was very weirded out when I found out that I knew the guy who was hit.

When I found out, I updated my Facebook status asking people to pray. If I had Twitter at the time, I would have tweeted about it as well. And then, I prayed. I prayed to a God that I know can heal, and asked him to do just that. I had (and still have) never had anyone too close to me die, so going to Bible study and seeing his empty seat would have been excruciating had anything happened to him. After brain surgery and a lovely stay in the hospital, he came back to work, to school, to life.

This week, when I read about another member who got hit, I retweeted, updated my Facebook status, and prayed once again. I don't know who this second guy is. And I don't have to. I know that he is a member of my church—my community—and so I went to God on his behalf.

I love that there is such community that we pray for people that we don't even know, because we are united in the Spirit.

"There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call—one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all." -Ephesians 4:4-6

Unsafe Songs

2009-12-14T05:30:00.001-07:00

Another post centered around music. Nobody who knows me is surprised.

For those of you who don't know, I've had my driver's license for the equivalent of a semester of school. To some, that's pretty sad, considering I'll be 24 in just a few weeks. Because I'm still inexperienced, I'm still a fairly bad driver. This can also be blamed on the fact that I learned to drive in Arizona, and Lord knows they don't know how to drive.

So, because I'm a bad driver, it's good to eliminate any distractions that might take me from bad to reckless, or worse, from bad to wrecked. Such as...

The List of Unsafe Songs While I'm Driving!

The Song: "Rawkfist" by Thousand Foot Krutch
The Reason: This fun TFK song came on the radio one time when I was driving. I started using the steering wheel as a drum. I realized fairly early on that that was a bad idea as I was driving up Mill Ave. at night. So I put my hands back on the wheels. But there's the chorus. "Throw up ya rawkfist! Are you feelin' it when I drop this? *boom-boom* That's the sound when the rock hits!" That *boom-boom* is obviously supposed to be a nice fist pump in the air. And so I took my right hand off the steering wheel, and reacted accordingly. I still had my left hand there, so it wasn't too bad, though I do tend to put my body into the fist pump.

The Song: "I Believe I Can Fly" by R. Kelly
The Reason: This one hasn't happened, which is good. But I can imagine really getting into this song. Feeling really inspirational after the first verse, singing wholeheartedly, "If I can see it, then I can do it. If I just believe it, there's nothing to it." After that, the chorus, expressing my (misplaced) belief in myself that I can achieve flight and imagine myself running through an open door. And before I know it, neither hand is on the steering wheel. I've chosen to flap my arms, much like a young Joseph Gordon-Levitt being visited by angels who put their (misplaced) attention on baseball. It's good that this hasn't happened. And I hope it won't.

The Song: "Defying Gravity" by Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth (from the Wicked Soundtrack)
The Reason: This one is actually what gave me the idea for this list. On Saturday, I was at Sunflower Market, listening to the wicked-awesome Wicked soundtrack. This song came on as I was leaving the parking lot. I was singing along to Elphaba's part, because (a) I think it's awesomer and (b) I've always identified more with her than Galinda/Glinda (I think "unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe" describes me better than "blond"). As I'm approaching the light to make my left turn, I sing along with Ms. Menzel. "It's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes... and leap!" As I was singing, I noticed that I actually closed my eyes when I sang that! They weren't closed for very long, but still, I got so into this song that I closed my eyes while approaching another vehicle (albeit, at low speed). I love this soundtrack, but I might have to skip this song to prevent injury to me or others.

The Song: "Stomp" by Kirk Franklin and God's Property
The Reason: I actually haven't heard this song in forever, but I remember this one got my praising the Lord before I knew the Lord. The choir would sing about how amazing Jesus' love is. "It gets me high, up to the sky, and when I think about Your goodness, it makes me wanna... STOMP!" I'm not quite sure how stomping praises the Lord, but I am sure that if I am simultaneously driving and stomping my feet, bad things will happen. Like ramming into the person in front of me. Or hitting that pedestrian. Or driving into a restaurant or something. I'm pretty sure that if that did happen, I wouldn't even be surprised. That kinda thing happens to/around me.

The Song: "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" by Eiffel 65
The Reason: This song sucks horribly and should die a quick but excruciating death. I think I might intentionally kill somebody if I heard this. The only volume that this song should ever be played at is mute. Did I mention I hate this song?

This week, instead of an unrelated video, I decided to give you a playlist of the songs listed above (except, of course the last one, because I don't hate you). Enjoy!

The Antonym of Me

2009-12-10T05:30:00.058-07:00

In reflecting on God's love (which I've been doing a lot lately), I can't help but realize that I am completely the opposite of Him. That got me thinking about what it would look like if it were Jason Christ instead of Jesus Christ. I'm 100% positive that Jesus makes a better Christ than I would. Here's how it would have gone down if it were me instead of Jesus:

Me: Hey, Dad. I was thinking about your plan for salvation and... well, I'm not too thrilled about it.
Father: What's wrong with it?
Me: Mainly the beginning and the end. I mean, I'm fine with healing people and sermons on mounts, walking on water, all that jazz. But I'm the King of kings. Why should I be born in a manger. You know those smell. I'm hot stuff. Nothing that was made wasn't made by me. You don't think maybe a nice clean room?
Father: You have to give that up. You can't cling to it. You must become that which you have created.
Me: OK, fine, I'll be young and won't remember it anyway. But the end... well, I guess it's not technically the end since I'll be resurrected, but I don't want to be flogged and beaten to within an inch of my life, carry my cross, and then get nailed to it. Is that necessary? What's wrong with the sacrifices that you accept now?
Father: Nothing.
Me: Then why do I have to be the Lamb?
Father: Only you can die once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring them to me.
Me: But the cross? It's inhumane. Why can't I take the sins of the world on my deathbed when I'm 80? Why do I have to suffer so much?
Father: Only your blood can wash away their sins.
Me: What have they done to deserve this? They lie. They steal. They lust. They hate. They kill. They worship money. They lift themselves higher than you. They all--like sheep--have gone astray. Each of them has turned to his own way. And you are laying their iniquity on me?
Father: You're right. They don't deserve it. They deserve death and hell. But I love them too much. That's why I'm sending you to take the wrath for them.
Me: But don't you love me?
Father: More than I can say. You are my son, my only son, with whom I am well pleased. I love you more than what they even know about love. They have a small glimpse of a father's love for his son. I'm going to demonstrate my love for them in that, while they were still sinners, I sent my Son to die for them. They might not deserve it, but because I love them, they're worth it.

I for one am glad that Jesus is so vastly different from who I am, and that He makes us like Him. And I am amazed that God loves us so much, though we are evil, that He give His Son to bring us to Him. Thank you, Father.

He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. -2Corinthians 5:21

Trading my faith for Faith Hill

2009-12-07T17:30:00.058-07:00

It was about this time 5 years ago that I started listening to country music. It is a surprise to approximately 0% of you that I love music, so it shouldn't be a surprise that I would often have the radio on in my dorm room. I didn't have a roommate to object and I didn't have (read: acknowledge) any homework that might better take up my time, so I listened to the radio quite a bit. It was usually Air 1, since we know that Christian music is what maintains my salvation. Towards the end of my first semester at ASU, I had a lot of studying to do for finals and so of course I listened to the radio that much more (did I mention that I got a 2.5 that semester?). I'm a fan of Christmas music, so what better to listen to than Christian radio to hear about the birth of our Lord?

Country music, that's what. I, as well as Christian author and blogger Jon Acuff, consider country music and Christian music to be cousins. You can hear Carrie Underwood ask Jesus to take the wheel, Brooks and Dunn find truth in words written in red, and God bless Rascal Flatt's broken road. There's tons of Christian imagery in country music, so much so that if one were to leave Christian music, it'd be the easiest way to ease into the world of secular music.

The reason I originally left the world of Christian music that December was because of the Christmas music I was hearing. Sure I got some "What Child is This?" and "Angels We Have Heard on High." There was even an original Christmas song by Toby Mac. But there was other stuff that I heard on the radio. Stuff like "The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)." That song talks about Santa Claus being on his way. There's also "Sleigh Ride," a song about an outing in that fictional white stuff they call snow. I have no problem listening to these on mainstream radio. But (*CLICHE WARNING*) Jesus is the reason for the season. Why are Christians not getting this? Why are we singing about our anticipation for a fictional fat guy rather than our Lord?

I've heard it already this year on Air 1 and K-Love, so I think I'm gonna have to resort to listening only to my iPod until mid-January. Which I think I'm alright with.

And now, for the unrelated video of the week, I give you David After Dentist.

Home

2009-12-03T17:19:00.000-07:00

I’ve moved around quite a bit in my life, and I pretty much hate it. I envy those who grew up in the same house that they were brought to when they first came from the hospital. I lived in the same apartment in West-ish Phoenix for about 10 years, 10 months in Avondale, an apartment in South Phoenix for about 4 or 5 years. Since then, I haven’t lived in the same place for more than a year. Moving sucks because you have to pack up all of your worldly belongings and put them into a vehicle, unload them into a new place, and hope that you don’t repeat it anytime soon.

Even though I hated moving, it was still nice to know that I had a home. Even if home moved to a different location in a matter of a week, the new place was still home. I could give my address, unpack, claim a room, have a place that was mine or my families.

I haven’t had that in a long time. I haven’t had a place that I consider home since I moved out of my apartment at the end of August. I headed out to San Diego and knew I wasn’t going to be there for long. Now I’m living in Mesa, AZ. At both of those locations I was told to make myself at home, but it’s hard to consider them home. Not because I’m living with a family that I’m not related to, but because when I was in San Diego, I knew it wasn’t going to last long, and here in AZ, I’m hoping that it’s not too long. Don’t get me wrong. I’m very appreciative of the Hagstrom’s hospitality in letting someone who they didn’t even know live with them rent-free. They’ve been a huge blessing to me. But God really changed my heart about moving out to San Diego (I was very reluctant at first). My heart is still in San Diego. Because I want to be there, it’s hard for me to call here home. I don’t want to say this because it’s cliché and cheesy, but home is where the heart is.

Wow, this has ended up being kind of a downer of a post. I'm sorry about that. It's like Jesus told us in John 16:33, that we will have trials in this world. But we can take heart, because He has overcome the world.

Don't forget to check out my other blog, where I reflect on fighting the battle from afar. God bless.

The (Near) Thanksgiving Day Massacre

2009-11-30T05:30:00.025-07:00

I lost my camera on Thanksgiving Day. There was a good chunk of time when there was a search party, because I wasn’t about to leave California without my $200 camera. There were three different ways that people saw this apparently.

My Point of View

There were a bunch of kids around who weren’t really helping me look. My nephew Warren was looking in the freezer, while my niece Anaiya suggested, “Maybe it’s in the cake.” I figured that they were just going to be in the way, so I told them to sit down and be quiet. One of them said they were cold, so they put the blanket over themselves. I was being nice while looking for my camera.

The Kids’ Point of View

I didn’t verify any of this, but I’m pretty sure that this is what they were all collectively thinking: “Man, he’s serious. He’s making us sit down, all in a row. Maybe we can chat it up while he looks? Oh, no, he has his belt. Did he say something about a rod? I don’t know what that it is, but he sounds serious. I guess we can’t talk. He’s got that wild look in his eyes. I think he might just kill one of us. Let’s not say anything. He’s being mean while looking for his camera.”

The Other Adults’ Point of View

“Oh, my goodness, look at him. He has all the kids lined up, oldest to youngest, on the couch. They’re not saying anything. They were talking, but they shut up real quick when he got that belt. Did you hear him? He said, ‘The Bible says to use a rod.’ He’s going to start torturing them. Just wait. He’s gonna throw a bucket of cold water on them, get in their face, and ask, ‘Where’s the camera?’ He’s going to get information from them one way or another. There’s no mercy. Chrissie’s only four. What’s she gonna tell him? Oh, snap. We need to look harder or else we’re next. We’re not going to escape. His mom’s the only one safe. The rest of us might not survive Thanksgiving. He’s gone crazy while looking for his camera.”

I still say I was being nice. Everyone else blew it out of proportion. Anyway, we all laughed at it after my camera did appear again. And nothing of mine disappeared for the remainder of the trip. And for some reason unbeknownst to me, everyone asked permission before doing anything, even getting a cup of water. I can’t understand why. I guess I’m just a man who demands respect.

Give me respect... or else

And now, for the completely unrelated video of the week, I give you Si! Enjoy.

Guacamole from Si on Vimeo.

Thank God

2009-11-25T17:00:00.000-07:00

So, the whole Monday and Thursday posting thing seems to be failing. Last week was due to laziness, but this one's on purpose. I wanted to post this on Wednesday because Thursday, as we all here in America know, is Thanksgiving and I would rather you, the reader, spend time with your family and cooking and eating and going into a food coma before eating again.

Now, what else can I write about right now than about giving thanks for what we have? Though I often miss it because I'm human (read: stupid), God truly has blessed me immensely. I was reading in Isaiah this morning, and was reminded of the security and eternal forgiveness that we have in Jesus. Isaiah 22:14 says, "The LORD of hosts has revealed himself in my ears: 'Surely this iniquity will not be atoned for you until you die,' says the Lord GOD of hosts." Jerusalem had turned to themselves rather than to the One who made them, and so He left them to their own devices that would lead to their own destruction.

In John 10:28-30, Jesus tells us that we are in God's hands and no one can take us out because He is greater than anyone and everyone else. In Ephesians 1:13-14, Paul tells us that we have been sealed by the Holy Spirit, guaranteeing our inheritance. It is so amazing to think that everything we have done and will do have been atoned for because of the sacrifice of our Lord.

Lord God, I think You for the assurance that we have in You. That You have given us Your Holy Spirit freely, so we can live forever with You. I thank You that we already have that eternal life and that You have us in Your hands. I thank You for Your amazing grace and mercy that we receive everyday.

I lost my salvation on the way to church

2009-11-23T05:30:00.003-07:00

Friday's post (I apologize for posting it late, btw) discussed how I don't know how to love God with all of me all the time. Well, a close examination of my life has showed one way in which I am not doing it.

As some of you know, I've only had a driver's license since late August. Since then, I've been driving quite a bit. I'm still a pretty bad driver, but that's another post. I've noticed that I'm not the only bad driver on the road. Other people on the road make me start yelling at them and thinking evil thoughts about them (I love how they're to blame).

I noticed Sunday that I yell at other people A LOT. I mean crazy, ridiculous, don't-know-volume-control kinda stuff. I think that the things I think, however, are sinful at worst, mildly funny at best. Examples:

The speed limit's 40! Why are you only going 45?

(Realizing that the man who I was driving behind was graying) Old people!

I wonder if I could hit this guy if I speed up?

(Checking the age of a woman next to me) I wonder if I could beat her. (Our lanes were merging. I was so intent on looking at her that I didn't notice the light turn green. She did.)

I realized that I, like other drivers, am the only one important when I'm on the road. I am all that matters. That's not loving God with all I am all the time and it's not loving my neighbor as myself. If Jesus gave a 3rd greatest commandment, I would probably break that one too. I think that's why I listen to Christian music when I'm driving. Otherwise, I don't think I would be saved anymore.

In an unrelated but still kind of important note, I started a ministry blog called Inside my Ministry. It's just a way to kinda clean up some clutter that I felt was happening on this blog. So if you want to read about my ministry, go there.

And now, I leave you with this completely unrelated video, but is nonetheless hilarious. And it raps the gospel, so it has to be good. Enjoy!

The Love for God

2009-11-19T23:50:00.004-07:00

This Sunday, I went to 2 different churches. Both of them were talking about the first and greatest commandment that Jesus gives to us. I kinda think God was telling me something.

Both sermons pointed out the completeness that the commandment demanded. Jesus says to love God with your heart, mind, soul, and strength. That means to love Him with everything. The passage that Jesus is quoting from goes even further. Deuteronomy 6:5 tells us with what we are to love God. Verses 6-9 says when. It says to teach your children to love God. Love Him when you sit. When you walk. When you lay down. When you rise. This reminds me of a song that says, "I only think of you on two occasions/ That's day and night." God has covered all the bases. We are supposed to love Him all the time with all of us.

But I have a small beef with that, and it's with the application. It's one thing to say to love, but what does that look like? Pastor Justin pointed out that Jesus' answer to the scribe was to love, not to obey. I thought, "Well, of course the commandment doesn't say obey. It's a commandment. It's implied that you're to obey it." I think I understand his point more now that I'm thinking it over. God doesn't want blind obedience. He wants us to love Him. If we keep every command that God ever gave Man, if we go to church every week, if we join ministry and lead thousands of people to the Lord, but don't have love for God, do you know what that makes us? 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 says that all we are is noise. We are nothing without love.

That was God's beef with the church in Ephesus in Revelation 2. In verses 2-3, Jesus tells the church that He knows the good they do, He knows their hatred of wickedness, He knows that they have even suffered for His name's sake and yet persevere through it all. In verse 4, however, he tells them that they have forgotten their first love. Christianity to them had become service for God, which took the place of a love for God.

I don't want you to think that I am saying don't do. I am saying don't equate doing with loving. We can do and do and do and wear ourselves out without loving. They do not mean the same thing. I'm saying don't do instead of love, but do because of love. I think that's what Jesus meant when He said in John 14:21, "Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me." That's how we show that God dwells in us and empowers us to love Him and to love others.

That still doesn't answer the question of what it looks like to love God with all of you all the time. And this is why I was slightly hesitant to write this blog. I don't really have an answer. If I had an answer, though, I think that would defeat the purpose of the previous three paragraphs. If I said to love God is to do this, that, and these, I'm no better than the Ephesians. I think the main reason I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around this commandment is because my natural inclination is to have instructions on how to do something. Love doesn't quite work like that. My prayer is that you, the reader, and I would love God with all of our being all of the time, whatever that may look like.

More reflections on Isaiah

2009-11-16T14:09:00.005-07:00

*
As you can see here and here, I've kind of adopted Isaiah being called by God as my own calling into ministry.

Well, if I'm going to model my calling after Isaiah's, why not model other things? I was reading in Isaiah this morning, and came across Isaiah 20. It's six short verses that you should read right now. Go ahead, I'll wait.

...

Well, now that you've read it, I think it's obvious what my logical next step is. As I have answered God's call to go out for Him, I must now loose my sackcloth and take off my sandals. And Isaiah did this for 3 years, so it's going to be a while until I put my clothes back on. I don't know what purpose God has for me being naked for 3 years, but I must follow Him.

*I know the picture (from this guy) has nothing to do with this post, but I thought it was hilarious, and I don't think you really want a picture that's relevant to the post.

The Love of God

2009-11-12T02:05:00.005-07:00

As some of you know, I was in Florida the end of October into the beginning of November for a national staff conference for everyone working with the collegiate part of Navigators. For those of us on EDGE Corps, it was 8 days of humidity, meetings, seminars, and debriefing. You'll probably hear more about this trip, but for your sake and mine, I will break it up into smaller chunks. This chunk is probably the only part that I can relay back to other people without looking at my notes, which is good because I don't have my notes in front of me right now.

The Message
Later in the week, we would have early morning group sessions. This one in particular was called "The Love of God." Sounded simple enough. The Bible is graced with many pages that speak on the love of God. I typed "love" into Bible Gateway and got 683 results (granted, not all of those results are about God's love, but I think you see my point). We had the special privilege of having Jerry Bridges, the second oldest collegiate Navigator, speak to us on this topic this particular morning. The verse that he used that stuck out the most to me doesn't even have the word "love" in it. It was Romans 8:32, which simply says, "He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?"

Why that hit me so hard
As much as I enjoyed my time in Florida, there were parts that were just miserable. I think there was only one night that I had a decent amount of sleep. Most nights that week, I was kept up by a really bad toothache. It would hurt mildly during the day causing a mild inconvenience, but come night time, I wanted to slice the right half of my face off. The painkiller I was taking wasn't helping. I asked God to stop the pain, to grant me some sleep. It didn't happen.

Jerry Bridges, in his message, talked about how we often turn to God and ask, "If You love me, why _________?" We can fill in the blank with whatever is bothering us at the time. We accuse God of holding out on us. Now, I don't think sleep is too much to ask for. But God essentially said to me through Mr. Bridges' message, "Jason, you are so ungrateful. You're complaining about your tooth hurting. You're complaining about a couple nights of sleeplessness. You've taken your eyes off of the cross. You complain about losing a couple hours of sleep, and don't realize that I've given you life. Not only this temporal life, but eternal life. With me. I loved you so much, that I did not spare my Son, my only begotten Son, but I gave Him up for you. So I could bring you to Me. You didn't deserve it. You still don't. You were My enemy, but I love you. I love you enough to make my Son suffer death and separation from Me, so you won't have to. Is that not enough for you?"

My prayer for you, the reader, is that the cross is enough for you, and that you not lose sight of what God has done for you--in spite of you being His enemy--because you set your sight on something that He hasn't done.

Math:1, Men: 0

2009-11-09T09:37:00.002-07:00

If you didn’t know that I’m a math geek, then you probably don’t know me too well.
That said, it is my extreme pleasure to disprove a common math problem that young men love. Sorry, guys.

The Problem*

*I couldn't figure out how to do some of the characters in blogger, so I figured them out in Word and then printscreened them. In order to see it better, just click on the image.

The Problem with the Problem
One of the givens is that Girls = Time and Money.
I'm OK with that. But to write that out mathematically, you would have to say Girls = Time + Money. Instead of Money squared, you would get 2Money, and the square root of 2Money doesn't mean anything.
To get Time*Money, Girls would have to equal Time of Money, and that just doesn't make sense in English.

Well, guys, I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but a former math major's gotta do what a former math major's gotta do.

For those of you who are not math-minded, don't worry, most posts won't be about math. I just had to get this one off my chest.

Sometimes, more is more

2009-11-06T17:34:00.002-07:00

I read blogs. I think that's fair since I expect other people to read mine. That's why blogs exist. So people who normally wouldn't give two rips will see what's happening in the lives and minds of other people, some of which they've never met.* One such blogger is Matt, who wrote some rules that bloggers should follow. I didn't really pay attention to the rules (see what a bad blog reader I am?), but his posts got me thinking about my own blog and how rarely I update it. I thought that I should update it more often.

And then I thought about quite how vague that is. So I thought that maybe I'd give myself a once a week minimum. That, too, is too vague for my taste. So, I thought I should narrow it down to specific days that I will have a blog post up. I will spare the details about how I came to the conclusion that I will, until further notice, have a blog up every Monday and Thursday. These blogs will not have any kind of recurring theme except that they are from my mind. Some will be related to ministry, some will be bad jokes. Heck, maybe I'll post a recipe or two. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll wet yourself and then deny it when your roommate says something about it. Or at least that's my goal.

So, that's my dream for this blog. If you see a lapse in the posting, I give you permission to throw a pine cone at my head (or to let me know in a gentler manner).

I will consider this my Thursday post a day late. See you Monday!

*This is not a rip on blogging, per se, because I obviously am a blogger myself. I just find that I read about people who I have never met and I don't think I would care remotely about them otherwise.

Come now, David, where is everybody going?

2009-10-12T12:18:00.005-07:00

I feel like I have to write about David. Someone this morning was listening to a sermon this morning about David and the affects of his adultery. Yesterday in Sunday School we studied Psalm 51, which is the psalm that David wrote after the prophet Nathan confronted him about the adultery. I've been listening to a band almost non-stop who has a song on their newest album called "The Angel of Death Came to David's Room." The men of the SDSU Navigators are even going through a study of David's life on Monday nights.

David is one of my favorite people from the Bible. I'm even planning on naming my second son David (assuming I have two sons and my wife agrees on the names I've already chosen). I think that was a living testament to God's grace. Of all the people in the Bible, David committed a pretty well-known sin. The secular song "Hallelujah" even mentions that his "faith was strong but you needed proof. You saw her bathing on the roof."

It's well-known because it was massive. Not massive in that it's worse than what anyone else did, but massive in that it started a domino affect that would effect so many people. He conceived a child with Bathsheba, a woman that was not his wife. When Bathsheba's husband, Uriah, refused to lay with her to make it seem like it was his child, David had him killed. The baby got sick and died. David had become a man of blood, and as such, God but David's kingdom in the hands of his son, Absalom, who slept with all of David's concubines for all of Israel to see. David's sin affected so many people, all because he saw what he wanted and had to have it.

The reason I love David so much is because he is a good picture of God's grace. God knew all that David was going to do before He made him king. However, in 1 Samuel 13:13-14, God tells Saul that he will replace him as king with a man after his own heart. God chose David. This man, who sinned greatly, whose sin caused many lives, who God brought high and then brought low, was a man that God described as a man after his own heart.

Why? Why would a just God say that this man was a man after his own heart? How could He? Because He is gracious and merciful, and David knew that. In Psalm 51, David cries out to God. He appeals to God's mercy, because he knows that his adultery and murder were not deserving of forgiveness. He tells God (in the Jason paraphrase):

"Lord, I know that what I did was not of You. My sin is too big for either me or You to ignore. I am reminded of it constantly. But though my sin is big, your grace is bigger. Therefore, forgive me of my sin. I have sinned against You, and the blood is on my hands, but I pray that you will cleanse me of this, Lord. Blot it out, erase it as if it never happened. Renew me, God. Change me from this me that I have become, and turn me into the me that You made me to be. Only You can change me and restore me. Lord, there is nothing I can do to please You. My sacrifices mean nothing to You if I don't have a repentant heart. God, here is my heart, broken before You. May this sacrifice be enough for You."

Dear Jason,

2009-10-09T11:28:00.002-07:00

I've been with you for all of your life. I was even there with you before you were born. I've kept quiet all this time, but I cannot be silent anymore.

You've been mistreating me for so many years. You run into things constantly, things that you should know are there, like door frames and tables that don't move. You drop things, and who is there to catch them but your feet? You even hit yourself with your keys subconsciously. What's with that?

And your diet.... You know you're lactose intolerant. Why do you insist on eating cheese, pudding, and ice cream? Do you think that just because you stopped drinking milk that you'll be covered? You can't even do that right. Chocolate milk still counts.

And you know you're out of shape. Where is the logic in saying, "I'll eat 2 bowls of pho and then play 2 hours of ultimate"? That's wrong on a couple levels, my friend. Why would you fill up on that Vietnamese rice noodles goodness and then run around as if you were Usain Bolt? You can barely handle that when you're not full of Asian deliciosity.

I'm supposed to be a temple of the Holy Spirit of God! Is that how you treat the temple of God? I'm not against you running around. In fact, I want you to. Just know your limits. It hurts me the next couple days when you do that. Or maybe start exercising, so it won't be that bad when you play. God gave you the temple. Don't wear it down; build it up! Seriously, you'll thank me later.

Love,

Your Body

Reflections on Psalm 24

2009-09-24T12:58:00.004-07:00

This title is misleading because I'm not really reflecting on Psalm 24, but on something that Psalm 24 made me think about.

That said, I have a small beef with worship songs that are based on Scripture. It's only a small beef because I think that worship songs should be based on Scripture; in fact, parts of Scripture are worship songs. My beef with it is that when I'm reading those Scriptures, I can't help but think of the songs. Psalm 24 reminded me heavily of this because I know of 3 songs on the top of my head that are based on the 10 verses that are said Psalm.

1. Give Us Clean Hands
Verses 3-6 talk about the person who will ascend the hill of the Lord and stand in the holy place. That person is, of course, one who has clean hands, a pure heart, and does not lift his soul to what is false (you thought I was going to say "not lift his soul to another" didn't you?) The generation that does that will be a generation that seeks the face of the God of Jacob. We sang this Chris Tomlin Classic too many times in youth group for this not to be playing in the back of my head while reading this.

2. King of Glory
Verses 7-10 tell the gates and the doors to be lifted up, that the King of glory might come in. It then asks who this King of glory is, and answers with, "The Lord, strong and mighty." I'm starting to think that Chris Tomlin has little imagination, because this is the second time where he's taken words written by David and put them to music (well, second time in this blog post).

3. King of Glory
OK, I almost feel like this one shouldn't count, because this Third Day song has the same title as the Chris Tomlin one (although, this one is older) and really doesn't borrow from the chapter save the question, "Who is this King of glory?" David's hand wasn't too heavily in this one, although the same can't be said for "Your Love Oh Lord," taken almost straight from Psalm 36:5-7.

Anyway, that's my small rant. I can at least commend Misters Tomlin and Powell for keeping their worship songs biblical. Does anyone else have this problem when reading stuff like this, or is just me?

Easy as 1-2-3

2009-09-18T15:55:00.005-07:00

There it was. The moment I had been waiting for. The moment when I would step foot on the campus of San Diego State University, my mission field. The moment when I would go and impact the Aztecs for Christ.

The First 3 Weeks
It was so exciting being there my first day. I was helping students move in and trying to get acquainted with the campus and the surrounding area. After that move-in day, we had several days scheduled for recruiting, i.e. surveys and tabling, as well as a beach day and a barbecue. Week 2 came around and that meant more tabling and some follow up and our first Nav Nite! After that, we did more tabling and follow up, as well as a staff retreat. This is obviously not an exhaustive list of everything that happened in my first 3 weeks at SDSU, but a rough outline of what they looked like. I was glad to be there, as everything I had been working on was leading up to going to campus and trying to reach the students.

The Return
Week 4, however, has started, and I am no longer in SD. I had to come back to Phoenix to continue fundraising. It's slightly ironic because I was very sad to leave AZ initially, but now, three weeks later, I am bummed to be back. Not that I don't love my friends here, but it's hard to pack up and leave for a new journey only to turn around and come back while the journey continues on without me.

With all this comes a lot of questions, from me and from others. Are you sure this is what you want to do? Are you sure this is what God wants you to do? If so, why are you back? Wouldn't He have funded you? Do you really think you can get up to 100%?

All these questions lay heavy on me, and I start to think, "What if they're right? Maybe I should have just kept my job at the theater and stuck around here. I didn't want to leave and go out there in the first place. Wouldn't it be easier to just quit right now?"

Easy Doesn't Do It
The answer to that last question is most likely yes. It would be easy. But I'm not looking for easy. I was never promised easy. I never expected easy, and I won't accept easy. Easy means stagnation. Easy means, if I'm being honest with myself, that I am not following Christ. I look over to my right and I see a statuette of Jesus carrying a cross and am reminded of Luke 9:23. "And he said to all, 'If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.'" What Jesus said is far from easy. It means looking at the things that I want and think are good for me, but telling God that I want His will over mine.

Is Anything Too Hard?
These questions also make me examine what I believe about God. If I believe that my God created the earth and everything in it in 6 days, do I not believe that He can get me funded? If I believe that my God can raise people even from something as final as death, do I not believe that He can provide the $27,000 that I need to go back? God said in Jeremiah 32:27, "Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for Me?" I have to remind myself that I serve a limitless God who has me where I am for a reason. I have to do all that I can to get funded and trust that God will get me there.

I didn't intend for this to become a sermonette, but while I was writing, God was reminding me of things that I had forgotten and I wanted to pass that on to you. I thank you for reading and ask that you pray for me during my time away from campus, that I would raise the support to get back, but also get some fellowship and encouragement out here instead of being a hermit waiting to go back.

Where was I when the world was made?

2009-08-31T18:31:00.003-07:00

I just spent some time reading Job, a book that I seem to have been in forever and a day. The first couple of chapters is God telling satan how awesome Job is. Then God allows satan to take everything that Job has from him, except his life. The next few chapters were Job's friends telling him that he did something wrong because God wouldn't let this happen to the righteous, and Job replying by saying that he indeed didn't do anything wrong. Job says that he'll praise God no matter what happens, but there are a lot of moments where he is just downright dramatic. I mean, seriously, "it would have been better had I not been born"?

In all this, Job is questioning God, and understandably so. But in Job 38-39, God answers back, and answers back hard. He asks Job where he was when God created the world. And if he knew when goats would give birth. There was one moment that I thought was particularly "rip-Job-a-new-one-ish" in Job 38:19-21

"Where is the way to the dwelling of light,
and where is the place of darkness,
that you may take it to its territory
and that you may discern the paths to its home?
You know, for you were born then,
and the number of your days is great!"

In reading these chapters, it's easy to say, "yeah, Job, why would you question God like that? Don't you know that He's the Almighty? Don't you know that He's sovereign? Don't you know that He knows what's best for you?"

It's not too easy, though, once I examine my own life and attitude. Over the past couple of weeks, I've asked God why a lot of times. "Why am I at 25% if this is where you want me? Why are there a lot of Nav staff right now who are struggling with their funding? Why are there so many women coming to the table today and only one man? Why, God, why?" I bombard God with these questions about why things aren't going my way. And then I read Job 38 and 39, and I can't help but hear God speaking these words to me. And I feel small. Like a little child being scolded by his Father. My head is down, not daring to look up at God, because I know that He's right and I can't answer back. I can't look him in the eyes. I can't say anything to justify my attitude towards God.

I know that God is good. I know that God is sovereign. I know that God's will is better than mine. My trouble is accepting and realizing this truth in my nearsightedness.

I love my new housemates!

2009-08-27T22:35:00.002-07:00

So, I moved to San Diego, at least for a little while, for my job with the Navigators. I'm living with 4 of my teammates/partners. We've been living together for one day, and we've already had some great conversations/moments, such as:

Tim (upon entering the house and being greeted by 3 dogs): I thought there were 2 dogs last time I was here.

Someone else (I can't remember who): That's what dogs do.

Tim: But there were 2 male dogs.

Gabe: It's California.
~~~~~~~~
Ryan: There are a lot oceans... I mean seas.

Val: *Spits water out of her mouth*

Me: *Fit of laughter ending in The Laugh*
~~~~~~~~
Gabe goes outside and sticks his head back in and says, "So, are you gonna come out?"
Tim and I were watching movies on our computers, but figured since Gabe was asking that something was happening outside, like dinner or a meeting. We go outside and wait for whatever it is to start. Turns out Gabe was talking to his dog, not us.
~~~~~~~~

I'm really looking forward to more good times with my team.

I'm VERY disappointed

2009-08-23T22:59:00.002-07:00

Imagine biting into what someone tells you is an In-N-Out Double Double only to discover that it's from Burger King.
Or finding out that Edward Norton had to drop out of a movie and they replaced him with David Spade.
Or flipping on the TV to watch Arrested Development, and 2 and a Half Men is showing in it's stead.

Those would all be horribly disappointing moments, much like the one that I had the other morning. I was doing something outside, and I hear this man yell three names, telling the owners of said names to vamoose. Jason was one of those names, but apparently he was talking to a different Jason, because I didn't want me to leave.

He wanted me to act. He asked me if I could be in Die Hard 5 as a character named Archie Arnold. I gladly accepted, pulled a comb from out of my pocket, and got ready for my big screen debut. Instead of the script, the gave me my lines on small strips of paper, which were numbered, I'm assuming in the order in which I say said lines. The problem is, they were out of order.

Being me, as I try to arrange my lines in numerical order, I drop them on the couch that I was sitting on. I search along the cushions of the couch and feel for those lines, the lines that will make me a star.

As I'm searching, I see the fan blowing on me, and the pillows on my futon. I was now awake. I was searching on my futon for lines that were not there for a movie that I was not in. I very quickly came to realize that I would not be doing an action movie starring Bruce Willis as the unstoppable John McClane. I was in my apartment, alone, on my futon.

That realization hurt me like you can't even imagine.

2 More Weeks

2009-08-10T11:43:00.002-07:00

I have 2 weeks until I move to San Diego to start off the school year at SDSU. The closer that date comes, the more real it becomes that I'm moving away. And the more I think that I don't want to do this.

This is in no way a blog of resignation. I knew that this job would be hard when I accepted it. And it's not even that I don't want to do the job. I'm actually really excited about going to San Diego and being a part of what God's doing there. The part that I'm not looking forward to--that I haven't been looking forward to--is moving away from home and leaving the people that I've come to call friends over the past 4 or so years. I feel like Abram in Genesis 12, when God calls him away from his father's house, his country, and his kindred.

In a way, I think that's been keeping me from getting busy with funding. I know that if I'm out calling people, meeting with them, getting my funds to enable me to minister to students, that would be driving the nail in the coffin. That would mean that it is actually happening.

Well, what I've been avoiding with my laziness God has been bringing back with time. And now, I've dug myself in a hole because I'm at 13% with 14 days to go. The way it's looking right now, I'll be there for a couple weeks before heading back to Phoenix to continue fundraising and possibly working part-time. In other words, I'm reaping what I've sown. I could blame circumstances or a job or inexperience in what I'm doing, but really it's nobody's fault but my own. God's been teaching me a lot through this trying time, and it has not been the most fun time of learning. But I thank God for these times because I know that going through this fire will ultimately make me refined.

And so, as I embark on my next journey and probably turn back around for a pit stop, I ask that you, my friends and family and people who randomly stumbled upon my blog, pray for me.

1. Pray for my diligence in these next 2 weeks. I need to send out a few more letters, but the hardest thing by far will be making the phone calls (which is the most awkward part of funding in my opinion). After that I need to meet up with people and explain what my ministry is going to look like.

2. Pray for a temporary home if/when I come back to Phoenix, as my apartment will be vacated by the end of this month.

3. Pray for that 13% to go up. It's easy for me to look at it and shoot for 75% so I can be on campus, but I know that my God is bigger than that and can get me to 100%.

4. Pray for your possible involvement in my ministry. There's a link (to the right if you're reading this on blogger, on my website list if you're reading this on facebook) where you can donate online. However, I'd rather we talk about my ministry before you donate.

5. Pray that I would still be able to minister effectively when I do go to campus.

I thank you for your prayers and for your love as I answer God's call to bring the gospel to the lost.

Definition

2009-07-18T23:15:00.001-07:00

Valley Metro: (n) 1. The Greater Phoenix public transportation system. 2. Incentive to get a car.

Have you considered Job?

2009-07-13T19:25:00.002-07:00

Here's a summary of the first 2 chapters of the book of Job:

Job was a God-fearing man with great wealth, much livestock, many servants, 10 loving children, and a wife. Job would make sacrifices to the Lord on the behalf of his children, just in case they did something wrong. That's how much he loved God and his family. God knew that Job loved Him, even to the point of bragging.
Satan says that Job would be different if He hadn't blessed him so much. God, knowing what the outcome was going to be, says, "Oh, yeah? Prove it. Take the stuff from Job and see if he still worships Me."
In one day, Job loses almost everything. All his assets were gone, his children dead, his servants killed. He had 4 servants that survived, and it seems they survived only to tell Job that everything he had was gone. His wife was the only family member he had left.
Job's response? "I was born with nothing, I will die with nothing. God will take and God will give. I will still bless his name."
Satan says that Job would curse God if He took away his health. God gave Satan the go to have a field day, as long as Satan spared Job's life. Job soon received sores all over his body--and I mean ALL OVER his body. The one surviving family member Job had told him to curse God so he would die and be rid of all this pain.
Job's response? "If I am willing to take good from God, I am willing to take bad from Him." His friends then sat with him and mourned with him.

Job's life sucked. I think it was made that much worse because he didn't always have a bad life. God had blessed him beyond measure up until this point, and then in one moment he loses it all. And his wife tells him to do the very thing that Satan is set out to make him do: curse God. We find out later that his friends tell Job that it was his fault because he sinned against God and he needs to confess. In all this, Job looks to God and praises Him. He didn't say that God had no right to do this, because he had never done anything wrong. He didn't claim that God was an unfair bully. He praised Him and said, "The God of the universe gave me everything I had. And He took it away. I will still bless His name."

Job is a better man than I. When things aren't going the way I want them to, or going the way I feel God shouldn't want them to, my initial response is rarely to praise God for it. I question Him on how He could let, or even cause, these things to happen. I pray that my will be done if His is different. I point the finger, knowing full well that God could have changed the circumstances.

Job makes me feel like dirt. I read this, and I think, "God's not up in heaven saying, 'Look at Jason. Isn't he just the finest of my creation? He loves me and praises me and is blameless and turns from evil in all situations.' He looks at me and says, 'Look at Jason. He loves me and praises me sometimes. I often share the spotlight with things I've created, however. And he's turned to evil quite a few times instead of turning from it.'"

I think it's easy to look at Job and compare. I can read it and try to be like him. But if God wanted me to be Job, he would have made me Job. If I look at that and say, "I'm going to change this, that, and these so I can please God," I'm sorely missing the point. God loves me when I'm reading the Bible consistently and when I forget for a week. He loves me when I'm telling people about Jesus and when I'm keeping Him my best kept secret. He loves me when I make Him my #1 and when I put Him on the back burner. He loves me when I'm right. He loves me when I'm wrong. He loves me when I waste my time by quoting silly songs.

I can't work to please Him. I can only believe. There are times when I don't believe like Job believed. But that's when I look at the father of the child with an unclean spirit. He turned to Jesus and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!"

Jesus wasn't there

2009-07-12T13:29:00.002-07:00

You see some interesting things and people when you ride public transportation. Some make me laugh, some make me sad, some make me want to keep a good distance.

Yesterday, I rode the bus a considerable amount. This blog is gonna tell about the people who made me smile on my way from work.

There was a guy who came on the bus talking on the phone with his mom, his friend accompanying him. The guy was telling his mom that he had changed and stopped drinking alcohol altogether. He passed the phone over to his friend so his friend could tell his mom about how he had pulled a complete 180 and was a different son than how he used to be. When the guy got his phone back he asked his mom to continue to keep in her prayers. Really that was the only thing I heard him say that would suggest that it was God that turned his life around.

But I saw something else that suggested it, something that I'd never seen before. He had a tattoo of three crosses on his left arm. I've seen tattoos of various crosses and crucifixes, some standing alone as Jesus' cross, some including the guilty thieves.

So with this tattoo, there was nothing eye-catching about the fact that there were 3 crosses, none of them with people on them. The thing that caught my eye was the fact that Jesus was very visibly absent from the middle cross. It showed the outline of the Savior, almost to show that Christ was indeed on this cross, but no longer is. He got off. He was buried. He went to hell. He came back. He rose. He lives in our hearts now. The cross was a temporary holding place for Him.

I just thought that was awesome. This guy knew that Jesus' absence from the cross was significant in changing his life, and he put it on his arm to tell the world.

Brought to my knees

2009-06-26T05:33:00.005-07:00

God is always in control. Sometimes we acknowledge that. Sometimes we think we're in control. Sometimes I think God reminds us--sometimes painfully--that He is sovereign and we can do nothing but rely on Him.

I was told late last night/early this morning that the campus director for the Navigators at ASU, Mike Bedient, had a heart attack while in Pushkin, Russia. It's almost unbelievable. After hearing today that Michael Jackson was hospitalized for the same thing, I did not want to hear that, because I know how it ended up for him. My natural human instinct is to ask, "What can I do?" I've done the only thing I could possibly do to help: I petitioned the Great Physician. I am a history graduate in a completely different continent. There is literally nothing I can do to help Mike out except pray. And so that's what I've done and that's what I'll continue to do. I've told God that I'm praying my will, because I fear that His might be different. I'm praying that God heals Mike and comforts his family and the others who are on the Russia trip with Mike. And I pray that God does not have to use situations like this to bring me to my knees.

Please pray for Mike in this time. Last I've heard, he was talking and was aware of the situation. Not only for Mike, but the other people in Russia with him, because I can't imagine the toll this is taking on them, especially Sheri. Pray for the ASU Navigators, as my friend as told me that she's seen spiritual warfare going on, and I know that satan will do whatever is in his power to get his grimy hands on a thriving ministry.

I'll keep this updated as I find things out.

*UPDATE* 6/26/09, 10:18--"MIKE IS IN VERY SERIOUS CONDITION IN THE HOSPITAL. HE HAS MADE SOME STEPS IN THE POSITIVE DIRECTION, BUT THEY DO NOT KNOW IF HE IS GOING TO MAKE IT. DON'T STOP PRAYING!!!"

*UPDATE*6/26/09, 12:41--"Mike is in a stable condition. The doctors aren't excited about where he is at, but Sheri says that when she visited him he was smiling and in good spirits. He is being flown out to Germany sometime in the next 24 hours. He is in need of some very specialized equipment to get him there."

*UPDATE* 7/2/09, 10:21--"Good news. Mike is out of the coma, responding, but not yet communicative as of this morning. He had had a bad fever but they’ve gotten it under control. He’s off the ventilator. So still critical, but stable and improving.
Sounds like the German Navs have helped Sheri find housing and are taking care of her. Sheri, however, has been alone with Mike at the hospital most of the time and needs a friend. Lisa Jackson, former Nav missionary to Russia and on Mike and Sheri’s team back then, is flying out tomorrow and will arrive Sunday morning to be that friend. The Arizona State team and particularly the Pushkin team from Russia have been very supportive.
Everything is complicated by poor English skills of several of the key care givers. The somewhat sketchy understanding is that they expect Mike to be able to leave the hospital by the 9th if things go well, but that is a flexible date. Then, there is confusion over whether Mike will have to remain in Berlin for 7-14 more days of rehab, or if he can fly home and get that rehab in the US.
Please pray:

* Mike has a very irregular heartbeat. Pray that would stabilize.
* Pray for Sheri’s spirits, particularly until Lisa arrives. Pray for the Bedient children too – Becca, Sarah and Michael.
* Pray for clear communications between Sheri and the doctors and nurses.
* Pray for a rapid recovery and for Mike to be able to return to his home sooner. Pray particularly against infection.
* Praise God for sparing Mike’s life!

Thanks for standing with the Bedients in prayer."

*UPDATE* 7/9/2009
Mike is greatly improved! He’s finally off the ventilator. (It was previously reported he was off the ventilator – that report was wrong.) His stats are good enough that they plan to move him from intensive care tomorrow. Nevertheless, he is very weak. His idea of progress would be getting out of the bed and sitting in a chair, which he’s still far from.
Please continue to pray for strength and healing. Also, can you pray for all the details that the kids back home are having to deal with. They have had a few bumps with "regular life" things, along with the stress of what their parents are going through. Another request is that the luggage that was left behind in Russia will make it to Berlin without too much of a hassle for those who are diligently trying to work out the details.

Here am I! Send me.

2009-05-23T14:04:00.003-07:00

In the year that King Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him stood the seraphim. Each had six wings: with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one called to another and said:

"Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!"

And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke. And I said: "Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!"

Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth and said: "Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for."

And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?" Then I said, "Here am I! Send me."

The above passage is taken from Isaiah 6:1-8. It's my favorite section of Scripture. I love it because I think that the seraphim flying around is a strange but beautiful picture of God's creation. I also think it's an awesome picture of God's grace and the way He enables us to do His work.

However, whenever I hear people mention this in regards to missions, they seem to camp on verse 8, where God asks who will go out for Him and Isaiah responds, "Here am I! Send me." I mean, it's completely Biblical (seeing how it's from the Bible), but I think you can easily miss what God's done for Isaiah in order to use him to accomplish His purpose.

Isaiah was a man who was unclean. He was imperfect. He was a creature that God had created from dirt. He saw the face of God and thought that he should be struck down dead for it, because he was unworthy to glance upon the glory of his Maker. God's response was not, "It's OK. Just look. I'm not gonna hurt you." The seraph flew to Isaiah, touching his "unclean lips" with the live coal to purge away any filth. Why? Because he'd done great things for God in the past? Not at all. Isaiah 64:6 says that our righteousness and good deeds are polluted garments or filthy rags. No, God sent the seraph to make Isaiah righteous because God is gracious. I think Paul said it great in 2 Corinthians 3:5-6 when he wrote, "Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life." It was only when God had atoned for Isaiah's sins was he able to answer God's question with an enthusiastic, "Here am I! Send me."

I think there's a reason that God put that on my heart just a few months before I decided to do EDGE Corps. I know I have sin. I'd be a fool to deny it. When I look at that, it's easy for me to say, "I'm useless. How could God use a wretch like me. I'm so far from His standard of perfection, there's no way He could use me." But when I read about Isaiah, I remember, "Yes, I am useless by my own power. I am far from perfection by my own power. But God has given me His Holy Spirit. I'm not operating under my power anymore. God doesn't see imperfection and sin when He sees me. He sees the blood of Jesus. He sees purity. He sees perfection." I get so wrapped up in what I can do for God or against God that I forget that none of that matters to God. My efforts to correct myself mean nothing. Jesus paid for my sin. Now He wants me for His work. My duty is not to do good to please Him, but trust in Him to lead me in His will. His grace is truly sufficient.

Change is coming

2009-05-21T14:14:00.005-07:00

Well, it's been a while, since I've blogged, so I figure I'll update people on what's been going on.

Last week I finished my second senior year at ASU, and I have officially graduated. I have a BA in History with a minor in Religious Studies. It's weird saying that I'm an alum rather than a student. But it's a good thing. I don't want to become Van Wilder or that guy from my choir class who had about 12 years of undergrad. Being a professional student is too costly and doesn't allow room for maturity.

As you may know, I was really struggling with what to do after I graduate. As you also may know, I decided a couple months ago that I was going to work full-time with the Navigators in a program called EDGE Corps. So since I applied and got accepted, the question that everyone, myself included, has been asking is where in the world I'm going with EDGE. It was pretty much accepted that I wasn't going back to ASU but was going to some school in the Southwest, most likely in SoCal. All of my staff at ASU knew but wouldn't tell me. I was told that when I came up to the Glen Eyrie, I would have to wait a couple days before we did some ridiculous physical activity to find out. Turns out, a lot of people knew what campus they were going to, and they didn't want the ridiculous physical activity for about 7 of the 60 people, so we checked in, and got our name tags and folders. Said name tags and folders had our campus name on them. So, I got my room key, looked at my name tag, and thought, "huh. Interesting."

Anyway, I tell you all this to build up the suspense, getting you to wonder where my destination this fall will be. I hope that my plan has succeeded. I hope it's killing you that I know and you don't yet. Well, I mean figuratively. If it literally is killing you, then... well, I'd apologize, but you wouldn't be able to read the apologize, seeing as you'd be dead.

Well, now is the moment of truth. Now is where you find out what will be replacing Sparky, seen below.

Blogosphere, Sparky the Sun Devil. Sparky, blogosphere.

Well, I will tell you that I was correct in assuming that I would not be going to ASU. I will also tell you that I was correct in assuming that I'd be going to SoCal. Anyway, I can't think of anything else to stall with, so I will tell you that I will be joining the staff at San Diego State University. I can't say that I will become an Aztec, but I can see myself forsaking Sparky easily. Sadly enough, there is no mascot, at least that I could find by skimming the Wikipedia page. Gladly enough, I have an awesome hoodie that has ASU in big letters on it. I figure I can cover the A with SD, and it'll be acceptable, though ASU's colors are maroon and gold and SDSU's colors are scarlet and black.

But, anyway. That's what's been going on in my life. I'll spend the summer FUNdraising and working at the theater. Once I'm 75% funded, I'll be able to go on campus. Funding is every EDGEr's favorite part of the job, so this summer will be fun (I hate how sarcasm is lost in written word). If you want to donate to my cause, let me know. This isn't a funding blog, but seriously, if you would like to be involved, I will not say no.

If at second you don't succeed...

2009-05-14T11:25:00.002-07:00

I took the driving test again today. It took all of 2 minutes. I hit a cone while parallel parking. I would be considerably less upset if 1) I hadn't already passed that part yesterday, showing that I can in fact parallel park and 2) parallel parking were actually a useful skill. Seriously, how often do people parallel park? Why not a 3-point-turn? Why not a left turn at a major intersection? Now I wasted one more try at a license because I couldn't see the cones at all in the side mirror or out the window.

Boo to you, DMV and parallel parking.

Testing, testing, 1-2-3

2009-05-13T13:31:00.003-07:00

I just finished my final finals week. It was a time of great testing and great papering. And it's almost over. Here are the results:

MUS 356 (Musical Theater, online): 14/15 on the final, and perfect scores on all the assignments that weren't tests. On the other tests, I got 5, 4.5, and 10, respectively. Those are all out of 15. My total for the class is a 73.5%. Solid C

MUS 354 (Hip Hop, online): Each exam for this course had 2 parts--the regular exam and the analytical listening exam. For the exams, I got 100/160, 80/160, 88/160, 168/240. For analytical listening, I got 27/36, 24/36, 24/36, and 18/72. That's 62.9%. Solid D.

HST 307 (Something about Africa, slavery, and gender): For the map quiz, I got an 80%. We had reaction papers that we had to write, but he would only collect them occasionally. This semester, he collected them once, on a week that I didn't write one (which was every week). So I got a 0 on that. Then we had 3 book reviews. I got 54/66, 50/66, and 56/66. That's amazing considering I didn't do the second one. That's how amazing I am/Dr. Hamel is. For the midterm, I got 209/250. There was no posted grade for the final paper, but I got a B- posted, which is higher than the C was expecting/hoping for.

SPA 202 (Spanish): My Spanish teacher was crazy and absent more often than anyone else in the class. The final was split up into 2 parts--the listening and the written--which had the first part in class on the last day and the second part during finals week. When we turned in the second part, we got a progress report. For participation, I got 83%. For the exams, I got an 81% (which was dropped), a 90%, and a 95%. I have 475% for quizzes which she never gave us, so that's cool/she's crazy. I got a total 98.5% for online homework, which I never did because she never assigned it (she said to go online and do a couple problems for each chapter, which I never did because nothing was concretely assigned). I got 100% on all of the compositions, grades that are higher than what I got on those assignments. I got 93% on my oral exams, which are higher than what I actually got. For the listening portion of the final, I got 34/40. I didn't do too well on the written exam, but with all those grades, I have about 114%, so I'm not really worried about this class, unless she looks at it and says, "Oh, I'm crazy, shouldn't be teaching at all, and these grades aren't correct. D!" But I don't think that's gonna happen, so I'm guessing an A.

The most recent test I took was not at all for school, but for a driver's license. I passed the written exam with flying colors (those colors are actually fairly close to the colors of a failing grade, considering I was 2 wrong questions away from not passing, but the colors were flying nonetheless). Then I took the driving test. I was hoping that I wouldn't have to parallel park, which was the first thing I had to do (of course). I nailed it on my second try. Then I drove around, and was told that I was going 30 in a 25 zone and didn't give myself ample time to stop at lights and signs and when I was turning, which resulted in me slowing down, and then slamming the brakes pretty hard. I think that was an over exaggeration, but I wasn't administering the test. Anyway, with all that, I was told that I need to take it again. That makes me :-(, but whatever. I'm confident that I can pass within the allotted 3 tries.

Any fun test stories?

A phone message

2009-03-06T12:26:00.002-07:00

So, on Monday, I was talking to someone on the phone when my phone cut out. I was going to call them back when I got a text. I figure it was him trying a different way to get a hold of me. I read my text, and this is what it says:

"This is your really old phone speaking. You should get rid of me and treat yourself to some new hotness. I've served you well and need to be retired."

The number has a Phoenix area code, but it's not a number that I recognize. I'm thoroughly weirded out by this. Maybe I do need to get a new phone. Anybody wanna donate to the Buy J-Ra A New Phone Foundation, or the BJNPF?

Putting the "rap" back in "crap"

2009-02-28T12:14:00.002-07:00

I have a confession: I used to listen to rap music. Please, don't look at me that way. I can't say that I was a victim of my surroundings because I don't feel like I was a victim of anything. When I listened to it, I actually enjoyed it. There was just something fantastic hearing Tupac tell about Brenda having a baby. I enjoyed listening to Bone Thugs-n-Harmony mourn for those they lost in "Tha Crossroads." I still love looking back at Queen Latifah screaming her rage about the frequent uses of "bitch" and "ho" when referring to women. I miss those days.

Unfortunately, rap is like any other musical genre in that it changes over time. Where Tupac used to rap about how bad life in the ghetto was, rappers today would rather glorify the drug use, drug dealing, promiscuity, and crime that keep people down. Where Bone asked, "can somebody, anybody tell me why we die?" rappers today would rather "leave in a body bag, but never in cuffs." While Queen Latifah asked for some respect as a woman, we have rappers today talking about making "females crawl;" and that's the edited version.

Even recently, we had a movie about the tragic life of Christopher "The Notorious B.I.G." Wallace, which didn't seem to think anything of his hesitation to vow faithfulness at his wedding, of his lack of hesitation to break said vow, or even of him selling drugs to a pregnant woman, because that's the way things are in the ghetto. One of my favorite rap lyrics from one of my favorite rap artists says, "It's sad 'cuz I bet Brenda doesn't even know just 'cuz you're in the ghetto doesn't mean you can't grow." Mr. Shakur didn't think that you had to remain where you were. That's not the message we're hearing today. Today, we're hearing about sex, drugs, and crime, with very few of those messages containing any amount of repentance, regret, or a want for others to learn from these mistakes.

And songwriting has been replaced by adding ridiculous sound effects (see M.I.A.'s "Paper Planes). Clever rhyming has been replace by repetition of stupid lyrics (see Akon's "Right Now"). People are even taking the need for talent out of music by letting a computer sing for them (see anything by Akon or T-Pain).

But, that's all my rant about secular rap music. It's a little comforting to know that there are still some people who want to rap about something better than themselves. With that, I leave you with music videos for the only 2 songs I've ever bought on iTunes. Enjoy!

I'm just trying to be a better version of me for you

2009-02-15T18:35:00.002-07:00

I don't really tell people this, but if I sense that I'm being annoying, I'll back off and give the annoyee some space. (If I sense I'm being annoyed, I'll give me some space, but that's neither here nor there). I don't want to annoy people, so if I think I am, I figure I'll just go away and the annoyingness will be averted. Problem solved.

But I don't want to back off. I want to be less annoying. Some people think that you shouldn't let what others think of you dictate your life, but I say that other people have to live with or around you, so you should at least consider them.

So, I'm trying to be an old dog learning new tricks. I want to start washing my dishes when I'm done with them. I want to put my clothes away so they're not all over the place. I want to become someone easier to live with.

If I have done or habitually do anything annoying to you, please let me know (I'd rather take it as a private message rather than a comment on the blog). Seriously. Tell me. Otherwise, I'll keep doing it.

Love, peace, and hair grease!
J-Ra

Praying

2009-01-20T15:06:00.003-07:00

Some days just seem to need prayer more than others.

Our nation is under new leadership
I have a friend in the hospital
I have a friend whose child got a bone marrow transplant
I have a friend who simply needs some prayer right now
I need prayer

God instructs us to pray continually, and sometimes He just lays it on us to let us know that we cannot handle things on our own. And, through Jesus Christ, the God-man, we have a direct line to Him.]

So, why wait until the national day of prayer (whenever that is) or See You at the Pole? We should be praying now and always. That's what's going to bring about change. Besides, talking about someone is less effective than talking to God about someone.

Philippians 4:6-7
"...do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

2 Chronicles 11:14
"...if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land."

GO CARDS!!!

2009-01-18T16:22:00.002-07:00

Now, I've never claimed to be a Cardinals fan, but I will root for any AZ team going to their sports' respective championships. So, it looks like I'm going to be watching the Super Bowl for the game.

LET'S GO CARDINALS!

And to think, last year I said, completely sarcastically, that they were going to the Super Bowl.

For unto us a Child is born

2008-12-25T05:30:00.001-07:00

Rejoice! Rejoice! Immanuel has come to thee O Israel!

I hope everyone out there enjoys God's Christmas present to all of us.

This is why I'm no longer an Education major

2008-12-05T00:44:00.005-07:00

It's a Wednesday night. Not much is happening. Many students are hitting the books, studying for their upcoming final exams, writing their 20-page papers about subjects that can be written in 2.

Some students, with some kind of youth program, go to a movie theater to watch Bolt. The 20 or so high school students make their ways to the concession stands, quickly deciding what snacks they will bring with them into the movie.

Two girls decide that they want to order their treats together. "Hi, welcome to Harkins, what can I get for ya?" asks an employee, tired from standing around on a slow night.

After glancing up at the menu, one high school girl asks, "What size drinks do you have?"

Resisting the urge to inquire as to what exactly the girls were staring at on the menu, he begins to give them his spiel. "Well, we have a small for $3.50, a medium for $4.00, a large for $4.25, and our 2009 loyalty cups, which are also for $4.25. The large comes with one free refill and the loyalty cup comes with $1 refills until the end of next year."

"OOh, we'll take the loyalty cup," replies one girl.

"What's a loyalty cup?" asks her friend. Where were you when I was just explaining it? the employee thinks.

The first girl answers her friend, "You get unlimited refills."

The employee notices that the first girl left out the very important fact that the refills cost $1, but he leaves it alone, gives them their new, colorful, plastic cup of Dr Pepper. Frustrated at what little attention these girls were paying, he continues his normal concession duties of thanking the costumers, telling them to enjoy their movie, and wiping the counter.

About an hour and forty minutes later, these girls approach the concessionist again.

"Can we get a refill?" they inquire.

"Absolutely!" he responds cheerfully, more out of requirement than out of congeniality. He fills the cup up again with Dr Pepper and places it on the counter in front of his cash register. "That'll be $1."

"Wait, this costs?"

"Yes, it does."

"But they said it was free."

"No, the large comes with one free refill, the loyalty cup costs a dollar each time you refill it. Do you not have the money?"

"No."

"Sorry," he lies. He takes back the Dr Pepper, pours it out, and hands the freshly emptied cup back.

A few seconds later, another friend comes up. "They said that the refills were free."

The employee responds, "Well, either they told you wrong or you heard them wrong. Either way, a refill costs a dollar." He knew that "they" did not tell the girls that the refills were free because the "they" the girl refered to was in fact him and though the girls might have paid for a drink, he knew they did not pay any attention to what he had to say about it. The girls walk away from the theater, with less Dr Pepper inside their bodies than they would have liked.

The concessionist was reminded of why he no longer had any intention of teaching high school students.

What's my motivation?

2008-11-17T21:37:00.003-07:00

I am so unmotivated to work on a presentation that I have to give in less than 12 hours. I don't know why. It's not even that I can't focus on schoolwork; I did a great chunk of Spanish homework earlier today (which I usually forget about/ignore). I guess I got this idea in my head that I'm working and stressing myself out to get a piece of paper. But, as my thankfully wise roommate put it, there are a lot of pieces of paper that are really important. So, I guess I'll use that to motivate me to focus a little on schoolwork (which is good because I'm running out of other things to focus on).

The thing is, I really want to focus, but don't really want to focus. My desires are conflicting, as they often are. Whatever. I'm gonna get this thing done. Goodnight.

The best offense is a good offense

2008-11-16T07:42:00.002-07:00

So, I've been thinking, and I've decided. I want to become more offensive.

I don't mean "You suck and here are the reasons why" offensive. That's neither necessary nor uplifting.

I didn't just wake up and say, "Hm, I feel like being an extreme jerk to everyone."

No, what had happened was I got to thinking, "You know, plenty of people speak there mind without care if they offend anyone, and sometimes with the intent of offending. I usually sit back and take it, complaining under my breath. Why should I be so passive? Jesus was very much the opposite of passive."

And so I thought, "Why not? Why not tell people that I think they are dead wrong rather than letting them be wrong? Why keep quiet when others are voicing their opinions loudly and proudly (and sometimes obnoxiously)? Why should I be quiet and let those I disagree with get heard?"

Now, like I said, I don't want to be a jerk. That's not my intention. I just want to tell people, "You know what, you are wrong in saying this," or "That is very un-Christlike of you." I want to answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes (Proverbs 26:5). However, I do recognize that there are times when I should not answer said fool according to said folly, or else I'll become like him (Proverbs 25:4).

The lesser-known verses of I Corinthians say that if I speak in tongues or give everything away to the poor or prophecy, yet lack love, all I'm doing is making noise. That's why I don't want to say anything that isn't necessary. My heart is to throw away my character flaw of passivity. My guidelines are the verses below.

Proverbs 26:4-5
Answer not a fool according to his folly,
lest you be like him yourself.
Answer a fool according to his folly,
lest he be wise in his own eyes.

I Corinthians 13:1-3
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

I will not be silent anymore

2008-11-11T08:52:00.004-07:00

I have a confession to make. I'm a conservative, and am one of about seven black people in the US who voted for McCain. Was I upset when Obama won? Slightly. Was I surprised? Not at all. Am I worried about how he'll lead the country? Far from it.

See, while I am a conservative, I am a Christian before anything and everything else. So while I'll vote and root for the person whose views are closer to mine, I won't forget that God is sovereign and that He puts the people in control that He wants in control. Romans 13:1 tells us that we are all subject to authority, because there is no authority that exists except God and those that have been instituted by Him. So, as much as I want to piss and moan that it was the liberal candidate that won, as much as I want to throw around words whose sole purpose is to make people feel guilty, as much as I want to use "terrorist" or "socialist" or any other "ist" that other conservatives throw around like a rubber ball, I still will look to the Word of God and say, "Not my will but Your will be done."

I usually try not to be divisive or offensive, but I can't be silent anymore.

To you who make jokes about assassination. To you who call our country's president-elect a terrorist, socialist, babykiller. To you who refuse to stand behind a man that you disagree with because of those aforementioned terms.

I want to remind you that God is in control. While you're not coming out and denying it outright, what you have said is evidence enough of what it is you truly believe. And I can tell you right now, God's will is better than yours. It may not seam so, but He knows better than you.

AZ Driver's License Test

2008-10-26T22:00:00.000-07:00

So, I've never taken the driving test, so I don't know exactly what the questions and answers are, but I've compiled some questions based on what I've seen from AZ drivers. It's probably illegal to post questions and answers to a test, but oh well. I want to see them take me in.

Correct answers are given in bold

1. When turning right out of a parking lot, you should look in which direction(s)?
a. Left and right, to make sure you are not hitting any cars or pedestrians.
b. Left only. Any pedestrian or biker who might be coming from my right shouldn't be on the sidewalk that I will inevitably have to drive over to get to the road in the first place.

2. When turning, what is an appropriate way to signal?
a. With your blinker
b. Using hand signals
c. Signal? The other drivers should just know that I'm gonna turn.

3. When you have the green light, but there is no room for your car to go, you should:
a. Not attempt to go. You'll be sitting in the intersection and blocking everybody.
b. Go ahead. You have the green light, you should go. You should also honk at someone who deems sitting in the middle of the intersection a risk he's not willing to take.

4. Where do bikers belong?
a. In the bike lane. That's why it's called a bike lane.
b. On the road when there is no bike lane.
c. I don't care, as long as they're nowhere near me. I'll honk at them, tell them to drive on the sidewalk. It's not like you can get a ticket for that or anything.

5. Cell phones should be...
a. used as little as possible while driving.
b. used only in case of an emergency.
c. in your hand at all times. Chat it up. Text all the time. There's no need to watch the road. That's everyone else's responsibility.

6. When you are in a rush, what should you do to make sure you get where you need to be on time?
a. Speed. Those speed limits are too slow anyway.
b. Hurry out of a parking lot. It takes too much time to pay attention to any oncoming pedestrians/bikers/cars.
c. Occupy multiple lanes at once. This keeps others away from you.
d. Take advantage of others pulling over because of fire or ambulance sirens. Those people are such suckers.
e. All of the above.

7.ESSAY QUESTION: Write about why you hate J-Ra and want him to die.

I haven't figured out a rubric for the essay question, but I'm pretty sure that this is how the test goes. If you've taken the test, please tell me about the accuracy/inaccuracy of this test.

P.S. I saw a car driving north on Mill the other day. There was a red light, but a green turn arrow to head west on Broadway. The car that was driving north got into the turn lane, and instead of turning, drives into the intersection and gets back into the lane that he was in and continues north on Mill. This is why Arizona drivers suck.

Spare the Spoil. Rod the Child

2008-10-05T07:11:00.003-07:00

I'm at a point in my life where people are asking me the same question, the one question to which I do not know the answer: "what are you doing after you graduate?" Believe me, if I knew, I'd answer. I think I'd tell people out of sheer excitement that I actually know what it is I'm doing. But, alas, God doesn't work on Jason's time, so I'm still waiting for Him to reveal what it is He wants me to do.

About a year ago, I would have told you that I was either going into full-time ministry with the Navigators or teaching. Now, I'm not too sure about either. I've found that that's what happens when you make plans and exclude God in your planning. I've been turned off to both now. I'm just not sure if ministry is where God wants me and I'm absolutely sure that the classroom is not where I want to be.

On Wednesday, I took the bus to the movie theater. I got on across the street from Tempe High School, around 3pm. I hadn't been on a bus with so many high school kids since high school. It was terrible. They were loud, obnoxious, self-centered. One girl saw my little cigars and asked to buy one from me, and I said no. She then asked if they were already rolled, which is a stupid question, because that's how they come when you buy them. She then asked what it was, and that's when I realized that she didn't want tobacco. I was happy to get off that bus.

Fast-forward to yesterday, when I was catching a bus in front of Tempe High, where the basketball team was having a car wash. These fools (which is exactly what they were) would walk into the street with there signs, talking to people in their cars, almost trying to guilt them into getting their cars washed. It's a really fantastic way to get hit by a moving vehicle for a potential $5. One kid goes up to a car and says, "Hey, sexy mama." I was very close to giving that kid a lesson in respect. However, I wanted my lesson to be something to the effect of beating the hell out of him, so I decided to just sit at the bus stop instead.

Being around high school kids makes me wish it was once again socially acceptable to rod--erm, discipline--other people's kids. They have no respect for authority, or for anyone at all. I don't think the whole "Spare the rod, spoil the child" mentality is working. We need to go back to biblical times, and take what Solomon said in Proverbs 13:24 to heart:

Whoever spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.

The Lord takes away, but the Lord gives

2008-09-28T14:31:00.004-07:00

Last night, I was given a lesson about perspective. I worked at Harkins Theatre. I was scheduled to be an usher (theater cleaner) from 4pm to 12:30am (which almost never means 12:30, especially on a Saturday night). Some time during my time as an usher, I bent down to pick something up, resulting in a nice new rip in my nice used pants. So, I was walking around with my broom and butler (dustpan thing) strategically placed in front of me, and I was told by a team leader that I would be spending the rest of the night at door. As an usher, I would have been moving around, cleaning theaters, and interacting with my co-workers. At door, I stood in one place, took tickets, and interacted with the general public. I don't like working door.

Anywho, my legs were hurting for standing in one place for so long. I didn't even sit down on my break because I biked over to Target to get an energy drink. I was super tired standing there. I was hoping that I would actually get off at 12:30, so I could catch the last bus home instead of biking. But on door, I had to stay until 20 minutes after the last movie started (the last movie started at 12:50). I clocked out at around 1:15, went to get my bike, and noticed that my back tire was flat. I walked to the "convenience" store in Tempe Marketplace, and put my 75 cents in to get air (which is just criminal) to fill up my tire. I tried to fill up the tire, but the nozzle thing to put air in kind of came off, so my tire was un-inflatable. I parked it outside of PetsMart and proceeded to walk home (which, according to Mapquest, was a 3.59 mile walk).

As I was walking, I could have grumbled and complained to God, asking why all this had to happen. But instead, I thanked God that I brought my knee brace, because that walk would have been hell without it. And I thanked God that I brought flip-flops to change into, which I never do. Without those, my feet would have died. And I thanked God that my legs weren't tired anymore from standing still for several hours.

I was reminded of Job. Not that my life is or ever has been as bad as Job's was, because it's no where near. But after Job lost all his family, livestock, house, money, he didn't respond by asking God what the big deal was. He didn't say, "The Lord has taken away." He remembered that what he had came from God and that God had the right to take it all away. And he said, "Blessed be the name of the Lord." If I had been focusing on the fact that I didn't have a bike or vehicle and had to walk so many miles, then I would have been angry, asking God why He couldn't deflate my tire after I got home. But instead of focusing on what God had taken away, I focused on what God had given me. And I wasn't even thinking about how much I didn't enjoy work. It is awesome to recognize just how enjoyable God can be if we recognize that He is our provider, and not some bully taking away our lunch money and giving us wedgies.

Milk? Meat? A diaper?

2008-09-15T22:42:00.003-07:00

Warning: This post is kinda gross. You might not want to read this if you gross-out easily.

So, I've known for quite some time that ASU doesn't have the smartest students. My first hint: peer editing in English 102. One of my classmates, bless his heart, introduced his paper arguing for euthanasia with, "There are plenty of retarded of laws." It was then that I realized that my school will accept anyone with an income.

Another tell-tale sign that ASU kids aren't the brightest tools in the crayon box: toilets. I don't often go into the women's restrooms, so I can't say how they do, but I know that ASU men do not know how to properly use a toilet. When I lived on campus, a constant ritual would be to entire a bathroom stall with 2 paper towels, one wet, one dry. I had to do this to ensure that I wasn't sitting on the "present" left by the last person. I wanted to post a fake syllabus for the fake class, Not Pissing on the Toilet Seat 101. Week 1, lift seat. Week 2, aim. Week 3, final.

And it's not just in the dorms. I just moved from the Computing Commons to Hayden Library, because I had to use the restroom and, lo and behold,... well, I'm sure you can guess why.

I don't understand how people who graduated from high school don't know how to use the bathroom properly. If you've been out of diapers for at least 15 years, you'd think you'd learn some things.

I thought about drawing some spiritual analogy to Christians forgetting the basics of Christianity. And, while it seems I just did, I'm not going to go any farther than putting a link to the verse. Although, if the author of Hebrews had used a diaper-toilet illustration instead of a milk-meat illustration, I think it would have worked out fine.

High Steaks Sports

2008-09-03T11:21:00.002-07:00

There's a commercial for some auto glass company that goes something like this:
Kids playing baseball
Kid hits baseball
Baseball hits windshield
Kids run
One kids comments, "Looks like mom is gonna get another box of Omaha steaks."
The commercial then shows the family getting a box of said steaks, because you get a free box every time you hire them to replace a windshield. This commercial implies that the kids have done this at least once before, and neither the kids nor the parents said, "Hm, you know how the windshield got broken last time? Maybe the kids should play somewhere else where there aren't any cars." Instead, the thought process is, in the voice of Homer Simpson, "Mm, steaks. *drool*"

I came home from school or work or something the other day, and I see cardboard in my window. As lovely as plain brown cardboard is, I didn't think that my roommates did it for decoration. Turns out the kids who are always playing soccer out in the too-small-and-too-close-to-apartments-to-logically-play-any-sports grassy area kicked their ball into our apartment via our window. Now, of course, when you break someone's window, your automatic response is to run away. The kids here, however, are smart and came back because we had their ball, and they wanted it back. So we know who did it (which wouldn't have been too hard to figure out because it's always the same kids playing anyway).

A couple weeks ago, those same kids with that same soccer ball hit our porch light, destroying our bulb, which we were too lazy or cheap to replace. There seems to be a trend here.

So, I go to a Bible discussion group yesterday, and on my way there, I see them playing again. I come home later and hear that they would have broken our porch light, had they not done it already. That's three times we've been the victim of kids playing soccer. Why are their parents not saying, "Hey, you know how you keep breaking other people's things when you play the same sport in the same place? Maybe you should go to the park right down the street. Or, you know, read a book or something that won't leave those fine gentlemen of The Underground walking on glass"? I think I know why: parents don't give a flying crap about what their kids do, as long as the kids aren't in their hair.

Now I'm not one to generalize. I believe that the only generalization that is true is that all generalizations are untrue. I know that there are good parents out there. And their kids aren't the ones getting attention because they're not the ones breaking windows. Why raise your kids when TV and the great outsides can, right? Why teach them not to destroy things, as long as they're not destroying your things? I just think too many people have too many kids and don't know how to raise them.

Either that, or they really like Omaha steaks.

You couldn't even pay me to see it...

2008-08-30T09:45:00.002-07:00

So, I work at a movie theater and get to see movies for free. Since the beginning of July, I have seen The Dark Knight (4 times, and counting); parts of The Mummy 3, Pineapple Express, and Mamma Mia; Hellboy 2; Wanted; Wall-E; Get Smart; Kung Fu Panda; and Tropic Thunder; all for free. Needless to say, I enjoy watching movies for free.

Now, there are some movies I'll see because I don't have to pay for them, some I would gladly pay for if I had to (well, I suppose I'd willingly pay for them, at least), and then those that I won't be seeing even if they paid me to. Though I'd be making money, I wouldn't get my time and brain cells back. There are about 6 of those movies at the top of my head. Wait, no, just thought of a 7th. Here they are, and why I won't see them.

7) The House Bunny
This one's simple. It annoys me that we're so bombarded with sex nowadays that I just refuse to watch a movie revolving around the life and education of a former Playboy bunny.

6) Postal
I've never seen a TV commercial for this. You may not have even heard of it, and if you haven't, count your blessings. It's a comedy revolving around terrorism. I'm into the whole black comedy genre (not to be confused with black people comedy), but I don't see how George W. Bush skipping with Osama Bin Laden is in any way funny or remotely appropriate. I read that the movie opens with one of the hijacked planes from the 9/11 attacks crashing into the south tower of the WTC. The reason: the terrorist, actually wanting to take a trip to the Bahamas, were taken over by the passengers, which then crashed into the tower. I don't feel like I have to explain why that's not funny.

4-5) The Day the Earth Stood Still and Babylon A.D.
Anybody who's ever heard me talk about movies knows that I have a list of actors who shouldn't be in movies. Ever. Topping that list are Keanu Reeves and Vin Diesel. Why they continue to be cast is beyond me, but 2008 brings one movie from each. If I enter a theater where those movies are showing, it'll be to clean up after the people who wasted their money.

3) Religulous
From comedian and documentary-maker, Bill Maher, who brought us such classics as... um... well, he was on Leno the other night. He even voiced his political opinions and said that Hillary supporters are threatening to vote for McCain because they're upset that a woman didn't get the Democratic nomination, and thus are sticking it to the man by crossing party lines. That makes complete sense. It can't possibly be because they just don't like Obama. But, I digress...
In this film, whose title is derived from a combination of the words "religion" and "ridiculous," Maher interviews people of various religions, and questions their beliefs. I might be less opposed to it if he didn't do it in a sarcastic, demeaning, and just downright stupid way. He likens prayer to believing in Santa Claus. Watch a trailer and you will see just how ridiculous this movie is going to be.

2) Hamlet 2
It's not that they dared mess with a Shakespeare play. It's not that Steve Coogan's American accent is as laughable as my British one is. It's not even the fact that it takes place in that dump they call Tucson that bothers me the most about this movie. It's the blatant blasphemy. I just utterly refuse to watch a movie that has a song called, "Rock Me, Sexy Jesus."I watched Selma Blair kiss a big, red demon. I watched Angelina Jolie bend bullets. I even heard Pierce Brosnana sing. But I can't bring myself to watch this blasphemous excuse for a comedy.

1) Disaster Movie
I feel almost responsible for this. I chuckled as I watched Dr. Phil admit that he was worthless and Shaq make fun of his inability to shoot free throws. But I never thought that by watching that illegally downloaded copy of Scary Movie 4 on youtube would ever come to this. Unlike the Scary Movie franchise, Disaster Movie doesn't even care to spoof the genre of movies that it gets its title from. From what I've read, the only disaster movies that it actually spoofs are Twister (and their about a decade or so too late for that one) and Cloverfield, and it's debatable if that was a disaster movie (I'd say it's more of a monster flick). Instead, it spoofs movies that just came out, none of which older than a year old. It's obvious that they didn't even care to watch some of the movies, as we saw the trailer for this disaster as we were watching Hancock. And apparently, the impersonations are so bad that they actually have to introduce each character in order for the audience to know who they are trying to impersonate. Furthermore, this is not even a parody, as their spoofs are just reenactments from other movies done by bad actors, and having a cow or comet fall from the sky onto them (seriously? how is this funny?).

Well, I'm done ranting about the general IQ drop making itself evident in the movie theater. Needless to say, if I go to watch a movie, it'll probably just be the one with the Batman again.

Sex is currency. She sells cars, she sells magazines

2008-08-08T16:45:00.004-07:00

I read, on xxxchurch, about a new "reality" show coming out about one of the members of the 2 Live Crew. It's sort of a "Where are they now?" show, making someone who was sort of famous at one point in time sort of famous again. This show follows Luke Campbell as he has left the world of rap (I would advise anyone reading this NEVER to look up 2 Live Crew, who helped bring about the term "booty-shaking" and whose song titles I won't even post). What is Mr. Campbell doing now that his rap career is over? He's working in the pornography industry. And this is going to be a show, not on HBO or Showtime, but on VH-1, a station that used to show music videos.

When did it become OK to have shows that revolve around sex? It was once taboo for Lucy and Ricki to share a bed, and they were married. Nowadays, if you catch an episode of "Friends," it's pretty much a guessing game as to who's sleeping with who. It's getting so that I can hardly watch TV anymore (which isn't such a bad thing, seeing as how the quality of TV has taken a downward spiral, leaving only a handful of shoes I watch, anyway). And then there are movies. I swear, they add sex and nudity into movies just to lure people in. 300 was a great movie, but there were like 3 scenes with nudity, and they had 0 point in advancing the plot. The same with Wanted. And need I remind anyone of the shipwreck that was Titanic? And that got PG-13 rating! We've become so saturated with sex that these scenes are commonplace in TV and movies. Even commercials have started using sex in their TV spots (look up any Jack-in-the-Box or Axe commercial... on second thought, don't).

It's things like this that makes Ephesians 6 so necessary nowadays. There is a war, and we Christians need to be on our guard for this. Ephesians 5:3 says that sexual immorality should not be named among the believers (the NIV says that there shouldn't even be a hint of sexual immorality). That is an extremely high standard that God set for us, and seems impossible in a world where the phrase "sex sells" has proved true time and time again.

Lord Jesus, I pray for myself and my brothers and sisters, that we would seek you for gratification, knowing that anything that the world has to offer will only leave us wanting more. Lord, I pray that you would remind us that you are the only one who fulfills. I pray that we'd want perfection instead of the perversion of what you've created perfect. Lord, I pray for our sanctification, and that would be in the world, but not of it, living in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Amen

Where'd the Time Go

2008-08-04T15:03:00.002-07:00

Ah! School starts up again in 3 weeks! I've had 17 first days of school, and the preceding one fails to make the upcoming one easier. The only good thing about it is that it's my last first day of school. It also helps that all of my classes this upcoming semester are on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'll be working at the front desk and at Harkins Theatre on my days off. I am, however looking forward to all the Nav things going on this next year, which include, but is not limited to:

Camping trip
Freshman Bible study(leading)
Upper-classman bible study (co-leading)
Men's discussion group
Mexico trip
Halloween party!
Christmas party!
AZ Schools' Nav Olympics (co-leading)
Regional conference at Pine Valley
Graduation! (not Navs-related, but it's happening)

As far as what's been happening in the last couple of weeks:

I've lost my wallet
I left my clothes in a laundromat that didn't open again
I've been working a lot at Harkins, which is a bit of a pain in the feet
I moved from the 'Plex to the Underground (f.k.a. The Jungle)
I didn't do summer school due to lack of funds
I've watched A LOT of movies, including The Dark Knight (twice), The Mummy 3, Wanted, Wall-E, Kung Fu Panda, and Hellboy 2. And those are only the ones I've seen since I started working.
I started reading Every Man's Battle and continued (somewhat) The Grapes of Wrath.

So, yeah, that's been me since I got back from California. I'll try to update this more often, and I swear I'll write more about what happened in California eventually.

Contemplative poem

2008-07-08T22:19:00.000-07:00

Imagine, if you will
A scenario quite strange
If Christians were like Christ
Then how would the world change?
Would they give to those who needed
Instead of taking for their gain?
Would they try to heal the wounded
Or still try to inflict pain?
Would they have humble hearts of servants
Instead of proud hearts of kings?
Would they take up their cross daily
Or still take up the pleasures the world brings?
Would they love despite shortcomings
Knowing they have some as well?
Or would their love be conditional
Forgetting that they, too, deserve hell?

Imagine, if you will
A more peculiar scene
If Christ were like the Christians
What difference that would mean!
Would He have ignored the sick
Instead of healing the leper’s skin?
Would He have cast the first stone
Instead of forgiving every sin?
Would He have come to be served
Or still meet the needs of others?
Would He call us His slaves
Instead of friends and brothers?
Would He have ran from His captors
Rather than stumble to the Cross?
Would He still be our God
Or would all gain become loss?

The Christ left His throne
He gave up His crown
He humbled Himself
And, to earth, descended down
He molded us each
With some dirt and His breath
He purchased us each
With His death-defeating death
Yet we are not thankful
For the life He gave up
For the blood that He shed
For Him drinking that cup
He emptied Himself
So our God we can see
He made Himself nothing
And we seem to agree

Is His grace really sufficient for me?

2008-07-07T22:59:00.000-07:00

So, my favorite verse in the Bible is 2 Corinthians 12:9, which says, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." Basically, Paul had a thorn in his flesh, that he prayed to Jesus three times to remove. Three times Jesus said no. I really like the ambiguity of this section of Scripture, because we're not quite sure what the "thorn" is, whether it is some sin that he continues to fall into, a physical ailment, or possibly even an actual thorn. The ambiguity makes it very easy to apply to whatever thorn we have.

Since I got back from California, my thorn has been joblessness. I'd been looking for a job for about four weeks now, and today I got 2: one with Harkins and one with TEAM Security. I was very happy after both interviews today.

But I couldn't stay happy about this thorn leaving my flesh. When Paul was in distress with this thorn, which he called a messenger from Satan, Jesus told him that His grace was enough. Paul responded by saying that he would live with the thorn, because he knew that that was when Christ was making him strong. When I was patiently, and then anxiously, waiting for Him to provide me with a job, my response was not like Paul's. My response was more like, "God, I've been praying for a job, I've filled out so many applications that I've memorized my previous employers' numbers, I've even been reading my Bible some, and I still don't have a job. What's up with that?" And I started questioning whether or not God was going to provide. I started losing faith in Him; not to the point where I was ready to say, "Screw Christianity," but I'd forgotten the words that Jesus said to Paul, that His grace should be enough for me, not to mention the countless times He's provided for me in the past. It's amazing how our times of trouble can make us forget our times of joy, and how the two are usually not the same, despite what James 1:2 says.

I love the words of the hymn, "It is Well," because the first verse says (in the J-Ra paraphrase), "When times are good and when times suck, God, you have taught me to be content with my situation." That is how I should respond to God.

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Spirit West Coast, cont.

2008-06-12T21:27:00.000-07:00

So, while I was at SWC, it was more than just concerts and altar calls. When we got there, they gave us our room assignments (my roommate being the same roommate I've had since August, interestingly enough). Later, they put us in groups (all three guys from ASU were in the same group, as well as a U of A dude).

Our group, undeniable the dorkiest, decided to name ourselves SG-1, because it was civilian (or collegiate) Navs working together with military Navs, just like in Stargate (although our group was the only group that was all collegiate). And, because we were SG-1, each of us was a different member of SG-1 (if you don't know anything about Stargate: SG-1, you should probably just skip this paragraph, cuz it won't make sense). I, being the only black member of SG-1, was Teal'c. Our fearless leader, Chris, was General Hammond. David, by far the dorkiest in our group, was appropriately Dr. Daniel Jackson. Scott, the only member of SG-1 without facial hair, was Sam Carter (something which he argued against all week). And, because he was left, Bryce (the youngest member of SG-1) was Col. Jack O'Neill (the second oldest member of SG-1, next to Hammond).

So, yeah, the week before the weekend concerts started, we worked. We filled bags with dirt, put CO2 tanks on the main stage, set up lights in various tents (I have a cool wound from a rusty nail, if you wanna see it), move tents, and a lot of other stuff. There were some people who were only there for the weekend who, because they couldn't help out throughout the week, cleaned up on Friday night after the Newsboys concert. If you've never been to a Newsboys concert, or have never heard the song "Breakfast," or have never heard of the Newsboys, their most popular song is called "Breakfast." The chorus to that song is: "When the toast is burned and all the milk has turned and Cap'n Crunch is waving farewell, when the big one finds you, may this song remind you that they don't serve breakfast in hell." Well, it's become tradition for people to bring and throw Cap'n Crunch during that song. That's what the Weekenders had to clean up. On top of that, it was raining, so there was a nice Cap'n Crunch paste on the ground. I was glad I wasn't one of them.

Anyway, we had a lot of fun, playing hacky-sack and Wah on our off time, getting to know each other. The meals were top of the line. The bathrooms, on the other hand, caused small problems. They were community bathrooms, with 2 sinks, 2 toilet stalls, and 2 showers. This was no problem until the concert attenders showed up. There were two men's bathrooms and two women's, but once the campers arrived, the sign that read "Men Only" was torn down, revealing a sign that indicated that the bathroom was for women. I'm glad I saw that the sign was gone before I just walked in there. There was at least one of us Navigators who was not as fortunate. Yeah. Awkward. Anyway, the problem was remedied with a new sign that said "Don't remove this one, fool!" or something like that.

Besides the work, play, and awkwardness, we had workshops and activities. We had a talk on women and men working together in ministry, and how that should look. We discussed what the world says the Bible says about military force, and then looked at what the Bible actually says. We conversed about staying sexually pure in the X-Rated society in which we live. And we spoke about shame-based vs. guilt-based societies, and how to share the gospel in those contexts (I still don't quite understand that one). We had many other talks, like making Christ the center, and we did a LOT of Scripture memory. They wanted us to pretty much do a verse a day and that was not happening, although I memorized more than I thought I did. Two of the memory verses were Philippians 4:6-7, which I got to use while sharing the gospel the next week. I'll go into more detail in another post.

Speaking of which, another thing we did was go to the beach and share the gospel around there. That was a pretty good time, although no one that my group of three talked to was responsive. It could've been worse; we could've been told to drop Christianity, take some drugs, and find some girls, like another group was told. Needless to say some people just aren't responsive to the gospel.

Well, I'd love to go into more detail about inside jokes and racist room numbers, but this is running a bit on the long side. So, if you wanna know, just ask. And keep reading. TTFN!

Philippians 4:6-7 (NKJV)
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Spirit West Coast

2008-06-10T18:10:00.001-07:00

So, I was in California for the past 3 weeks, and now I'm back in Phoenix. There were a lot of things going on in the past weeks, and if anyone reading this is like me, they won't read a long post, so I'm gonna break it up.

Anyway, the first week in California was spent at the San Diego Fairgrounds in Del Mar for the Christian music festival called Spirit West Coast. The concerts were Friday through Saturday, and I (and a ton of other people) set up a bunch of stuff the week before they started. Once the concerts started, we had a looser schedule and got to see them, unless we were working the altar calls.

So, basically, the weekend schedule was "These are the altar calls you're working, these are the altar call training times, and these are the meal times." So I got to see a few concerts, like Skillet (which was, by far, my favorite), Third Day (second favorite), and Newsboys. Tobymac was at the same time as Skillet, and it wasn't a hard choice to decide which I was going to see. Thousand Foot Krutch was the same time as Third Day. That was a tougher choice, but after the Seventh Day Slumber altar call, I needed Third Day more than TFK; they're happier music, and I love Mac Powel's voice. Pillar and Newsboys was the same time, and I don't know many Pillar songs, so that was, again, easier to choose.

Anyway, for altar calls, the speaker would ask who in the audience wanted to give their life to Jesus or recommit their lives to Him, and my job was to find the people who raise their hands, give them literature, get there information, and, most importantly, talk to them about Jesus and how to come to Him. I did this for Disciple (who were really good, but I definitely needed earplugs), Dizmas (who I didn't pay as much attention to, but everyone else seemed to really enjoy), Strongman Jon Pritikin (who broke bricks with his forearms and bent bars with his mouth for kids), and Seventh Day Slumber.

Seventh Day Slumber has a unique altar call. It's well known as a very difficult one. It's often given the name "The Suicide Altar Call." The lead singer of Seventh Day Slumber, Joseph Rojas, tells of a time when he was low, and almost took his own life with cocaine. On the way to the hospital, Joseph came to Jesus, after his mother constantly telling him that he needed Him. He was 22 when this happened. Joseph shares this story to the crowd at their concert, and asks the whole crowd to back up. For this concert, the people seeking Jesus come to the front and find us. It was amazing and sad. He asked who had considered suicide within the past week. Loads of hands shot up. He asked who intended to commit suicide as soon as they got back from Spirit West Coast. Still, many hands shot up. He asked who wanted to give their pain to Jesus instead of trying to end it alone. It really got me when I saw a couple in the front raise their hands for people who wanted to end their lives, but not for people who wanted Jesus. I don't know what happened to them, but we did have people go and talk to them. There were tons of other people, though, who did want to give their lives to Christ, and it was overwhelming. One rule for altar calls was that we should avoid talking to people of the opposite sex as much as possible. This was extremely difficult, because most of those who wanted to commit suicide were female. It was so difficult finding people who weren't already being helped and prayed with and prayed for. I didn't get to actually talk to anybody, because it was such a mess. But it was still amazing seeing God working through the testimony of Joseph, convicting people of their sin and drawing them closer to Him. People would come in groups of three, one to give his life to Jesus, two to pray with him and encourage him. It was so sweet seeing the love and companionship. I would go back again, just to experience the power of God once more.

The most frustrating thing about it was that TFK was on after them, so we couldn't sit and talk with the people, like what happened in previous years when Seventh Day Slumber was the last band. There were people coming up who wanted to get saved, but were intermingled with people coming up to listen to Thousand Foot Krutch and get free merch. Nevertheless, I know God was glorified in this and will continue to be glorified.

Suicide Note

2008-05-10T11:03:00.000-07:00

This is a poem a wrote about 7 years ago, I think. It's my favorite poem that I've ever written. It got me in a little trouble at school, and I had to see a counselor, but I can guarantee you, it was merely a creative teenager (at least I'd like to think so) writing poetry. Despite the seriousness of the content, it was not and is not any indication of how I feel.

By the time you read this
It'll be too late
I had to escape this world
That I grew to hate
Don't blame yourself
For not seeing a sign
The choice, the action,
The responsibility's all mine
Everything in my life
Has gone wrong since birth
I find no reason
To stay on this earth
I don't want to be here
For even one more minute
My soul will leave earth
And my body will be put in it
Death will be freedom
From this prison cell
By the time you read this
I will be in hell

Oh, if life were a musical...

2008-04-30T19:30:00.000-07:00

Tuesday was the last day of classes, and a couple of us Navigators decided we were going to have a little fun in the MU basement. Please enjoy:

If you haven't seen the movie enchanted, this is the scene when Giselle (Amy Adams) asks Robert (Patrick Dempsey) how his fiance, Nancy (Idina Menzel) knows that he loves her. She starts singing, and everybody else in the park starts singing with her.

For those who were hurt

2008-04-26T23:27:00.000-07:00

Below, you'll find the video of Big & Rich's song, "Holy Water." This song makes me want to cry thinking about the women out there who are getting sexually abused, and keeping silent about it. It's a really good song, but when you know someone who's gone through that, it puts a face to the music. I have two friends (that I know of) and it's almost as if I can see them hurting. It's so sad, because a lot of these women are told and believe that it's their fault, when they are the victims. A lot of times, they need someone to tell them, "I care." And that's what Big & Rich do with this song.

The Resurrection of the Old

2008-04-23T19:54:00.000-07:00

So, I used to write poetry, and I used to be pretty good at it (in my humble opinion). I loved how the words would just flow and fit together. I've decided that I'm going to try to take it back up again (and sometimes, that'll be all that my blog will consist of, I don't doubt). Here's my first entry:

The Resurrection of the Old

I am in Christ
A new creation
But the old me returns
Your fire within me
That changed me so deeply
No longer burns
I hate who I was
I hate who I am
I hate that they're the same
Will I tomorrow
Be like I was yesterday
Or will I regain the flame?
Today, I stumbled
Today, I fell
Today, I landed on my face
But You stabled me
You picked me back up
Today, I saw your grace
So though I fail
I turn back to you
For you give me my next breath
And I am in Christ
A new creation
The old me was put to death

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." -2 Corinthians 5:17

From the Inside Out

2008-04-21T22:55:00.000-07:00

At church, Justin's been going through 1 John. Yesterday, we looked at verses 15-17. It talks about the things of the world, and specifically mentions desire of the flesh, desire of the eyes, and pride in possessions. It seems like an easily--or maybe simply would be a better word--applied idea: don't love those things. The carnal desires of excess of food, drink, sex. The lustful desires and covetousness. The boasting of what we have and do. But Justin looked a little deeper than that. If you look at all three things that John lists that are of the world, they are all internal.
Desires, lust, pride all start from within. It's easy to see how they manifest themselves in our everyday lives, and condemn that, but really all that does is extinguish the fire while leaving the flame burning.

John is really repeating what Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount, when he talked about lust being the same as adultery and hatred being equivalent to murder. It all makes sense if you think about it. That act of adultery started somewhere; it didn't just spring up and happen. The lust was where it started. And nobody kills without first hating. The physical acts that we do are only products of the tainted heart. This has really got me thinking about how I pray. A lot of time my prayers follow the template of "Dear, Lord, help me, this person, and that person to stop giving in to this temptation," or "Jesus, help us stop sinning." While it is a good thing to flee temptation and to not sin, that's missing the point. My prayer should be, "God, change my heart and my mind to be like Yours: to hate sin, to want to see people glorify You, to love." Out of these changes will flow the deeds that we desire to do. We need to be praying for the changed heart if we want to see the changed man.

"I the LORD search the heart
and test the mind,
to give every man according to his ways,
according to the fruit of his deeds."
-Jeremiah 17:10

Stab in the Dark

2008-04-20T20:41:00.000-07:00

So, Saturday, April 19, 2008, was the 9th annual Rotary River Rally featuring the Great Cardboard Boat Regatta, aka the Cardboard Boat Race. Basically, people build boats out of cardboard, wood glue, duct tape, caulk, paint, and, in a one rare case, bricks (not part of the structure, but definitely a big part of the outcome of the race). You'd think that cardboard wouldn't make a good boat, but you'd be wrong. If you waterproof it right, it floats like a dream.

The boat we made was a catamaran, which is basically two canoes held together in the middle by some kind of center piece. It took many, MANY, MANY man hours to complete this. I, and a couple of friends, were working on it Thursday night and finished working Friday at 9am. When I say we finished, I mean we stopped. The boat wasn't finished until that Saturday morning (we brought paint and caulk with us to the lake). It was designed and built by engineers and we all knew that it was going to stay strong.

That Thursday night/Friday morning, we made a caffeine run to good ol' Circle K at 4:30 in the morning, after having been painting for a couple of hours. There we were met by the cashier and someone we were pretty sure was high. He says, "I'm gonna take a stab in the dark. Were you guys painting?" Too tired to come back with a sarcastic remark followed by a "Here's your sign," we ignored him, bought our coffee, and left. It was good that we went. We left with caffeine (or as a friend calls it, Christian crack) and a name for the boat. Thank you, High Guy.

So, we go back on work on the Shot in the Dark, and then some of us leave. That Saturday we took her to the Lake, and waited to figure out when we'd be racing. While we waited, they made announcements, like what the awards were, including the Titanic Award, which would be awarded to the boat with the most spectacular sinking. I heard this and pointed to the boat next to us, which was made up of cardboard and duct tape; it wasn't even waterproofed. The man to whom the boat belonged promptly told me that it would float and finish the race. I didn't doubt that it'd float, but I wasn't expect it to survive very long.

So, we were racing in Heat 7, against other college boats. We and another ASU boat were exchanging the lead for a good chunk of the race. It wasn't until the second turn that things started to go wrong. I was filming and saw the boat tip, and immediately ran from where I was to get a better shot of what was happening. I go and see that the catamaran has split into two by the center piece. But the people manning the boat were troopers, and got back in, after flipping over, and paddled to the finish line.

There was a flaw in the boat that was overlooked in our sleeplessness. We would use bricks to hold pieces of cardboard together while the glue dried. We somehow forgot to take them off, and built around the bricks. This caused a heavy center piece, which proved very badly for the boat. We kissed the hope of using it again next year goodbye. Luckily, we were able to race again in the Collegiate Challenge as a canoe, which took some considerable patch work after the first failure.

As we were patching and painting, the guy who had assured me that his boat would finish came up to me and said, "You know how you thought my boat would win the Titanic Award? At least mine finished!" which was a lot kinder than laughing in my face. Basically, I got told, and I know that I deserved it.

So, anyway, we raced the canoe. Three of the original six got back into the boat, and decided that they didn't want to be that boat that flipped as soon as the race started, so they were going to paddle gently. As soon as the horn blew for the boats to take off, the boat flipped over. But we are a persistent group, and got back in, the water that got into the boat actually helping us to finish. Unfortunately, as we were taking the boat out of the water, it fell apart. All the hard work died to the lake. But it was still fun while it lasted.

Having the boat capsize twice and still finish both times assured us that we would not have a best time, but made us wish that there were a persistence award. We sat through the awards part, listening and pretty much agreeing with the prizes handed out. The Titanic award was the last to be announced, and we were too involved in resurrecting the boat to watch other boats sink. The Stab in the Dark stayed afloat both times it capsized, so we weren't expecting anything. So you imagine our joy and surprise when they announced the winner of the coveted Titanic Award to boat number 59. In hindsight, it was a perfect fit, considering that we thought the Stab in the Dark unsinkable and it split in half, just like the actual Titanic. The only thing it lacked was a love story amidst the tragedy.

So that was the life and death of the Stab in the Dark. It was great fun, minus the whole staying up for a couple of days thing. I'd definitely do it again, and encourage anybody else in the Phoenix area to participate as well.

J-Ra: An Autobiography

2008-04-14T13:00:00.000-07:00

Well, since this is the first blog, I thought I'd start out with an introduction to me. I was born early 1986 in Phoenix, the hottest city on earth. I grew up fairly boringly, always trying to stay out of trouble, trying to "keep my nose clean" as they say. I grew up believing that I had to "be good" in order to get to heaven, a belief that many people hold today. I think people like to think about the afterlife because our current lives are so uncertain. I came to a realization about how uncertain life was on September 11, 2001, when about 3,000 people died all of a sudden, with no warning. About a month or so later, my grandmother died of cancer. We knew she had cancer, but nobody plans for that. A couple months after that was Christmas, and that's when I really started thinking. Christmas was the holiday some people use to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. Over the year-and-a-half before this particular Christmas, I'd been hearing the gospel, which says why it was that Jesus was born, and ultimately died: to bridge the chasm between man and God caused by our sinfulness and His perfectness. Jesus was the only one who was able to reconcile man to God. That's when I gave my life to Christ.

Over six years later, here I am, trying to tell others about this Man who willingly gave His life as the penalty for what we did/do. If you're reading this, this should be important for you to consider, whether you've heard it a million and three times, are hearing it for the first time, have accepted it already, or has rejected it already. Jesus is an important figure in history. He split time. He is widely accepted as being a real person, despite a total lack of anything from His time period that makes any mention of Him, save the Bible. I've even talked to atheists who've said that, though they don't believe that a god exists, they like the teachings of Jesus (which causes a problem, that I'll probably get into in another blog). He's such a huge piece of history, that I think it's foolishness to not even look at what He said and stood for, and see what He's about. If you haven't thought about that, I would suggest that you give it some consideration.

Well, that's what I believe. A few other random things about me, that aren't very important, but interesting, are

I've changed my major 4 times, and am somehow graduating in 4.5 years.
The name J-Ra comes from a pun on my actual first name mixed with some Egyptian mythology: My name is Jason, which I once wrote as J'son. Someone saw that, and said that Ra was the Egyptian sun (son) god and so I could be called J-Ra. That's the only nickname that's ever stuck.
I've lived in AZ all my life and have never been to the Grand Canyon.
My senior year of high school, I didn't want to do a play, so I told the drama teacher that my mom was forcing me to get a job, so I could go play tennis for the team. I told my mom I wasn't going to do a play, so she forced me to get a job.
I found out that I was lactose intolerant when I tried the Gallon Challenge. Not a fun night.
I've been sunburned once in my life. I didn't understand why my skin hurt and was peeling at first.
I had an extended stay in a hospital a few years back. Because of that, I can't eat Jell-O.
When I graduate, I either want to become a teacher, or go into full-time ministry with The Navigators.
I'm an extrovert, but tend to be quiet in groups.
My head was the same size as my shoulders when I was born. Thus, the oversized head.

Galatians 2:20--I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself up for me.